


A World Between Us

by MatrixMarvel



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternative Universe - Mob, Angst, Baby Fluff, Bucky Barnes & Sam Wilson Friendship, Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers Friendship, Bucky Barnes Feels, Cop!Bucky, Death, F/M, Family Fluff, Fluff, Loss, Newborn Baby, Protective Bucky Barnes, Roomates, Steve Rogers Is a Good Bro, Swearing, Trauma, mentions of murder and violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-07-27 23:03:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20053999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MatrixMarvel/pseuds/MatrixMarvel
Summary: On the run to New York with a baby in tow, you find yourself being taken in by a willing police detective who has gotten himself way in over his head. After all, you're the daughter of the late Alexander Pierce, head of Philadelphia’s notorious Pierce Crime Family. While the feds try to deal with them, you begin to realise what the real feeling of love and family actually is.But you can’t outrun your family forever.(Cop!Bucky, Mob AU)





	1. Um, Surprise...?

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Swearing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Swearing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who doesn't love a good Cop!Bucky fic? I do, haha.
> 
> Anyway, an idea popped into my head the other day (basically Chapter 2) and this is the result of the first chapter. I've got a rough idea of what's gonna happen, kinda. 
> 
> Bit of a short first chapter but I kinda wanted to set the scene a little. Tags and stuff will be updated and I'll put up warnings for violence etc at the start of each chapter.

** _Six months ago_ **

_Nervously, you paced up and down in the large spacious bathroom constantly watching the timer you had set on your phone. Fuck, this really couldn’t be happening, it couldn’t, it just couldn’t. The consequences were too dire to think about if the test came back positive, what would you do? Where would you go? Your whole body felt weak, come one you stupid timer! _

_  
The alarm finally sounded, the shrill noise almost fell deaf upon your ears as the world started to slowly fade away from around you. This was it, the moment of truth. When you would know if your life would change forever, how you weren’t too sure yet. _

_  
Taking a deep breath you cautiously made your way over to the countertop where the test sat, you didn’t want to pick it up, knowing as you did the outcome would be real. It would be there for you to see and you didn’t want to believe you were. Closing your eyes, you grabbed the small stick in your hands and slowly opened your eyes to the revelation. _

_  
Your worst nightmare was clear as day in front of you, those eight letters revealing everything you didn’t want revealing. _

_  
Pregnant._

_  
You were pregnant. And very scared._

** _Present_ **

Slowly opening the giant door with your free hand, you opened it just wide enough to create a small gap between the edge of the door and the doorframe. The cold air from outside immediately hit you, causing you to cradle the bundle in your other arm closer to your chest. Peeking around the corner, you looked out onto the street, and all seemed calm. Taking a deep breath you looked behind you where the fire was still crackling in the fireplace and sheets were strewn on the floor in front of it, the dark stains on them barely visible.

  
You adjusted the bag on your shoulder and slipped out of the abandoned suburban house, quickly making your way to the car parked in front of it. Fumbling with the car keys, you opened the boot of the car, dumping the bag before hurrying to the driver’s seat and slipping in. With shaky hands, you fastened the seatbelt the best you could with the tiny baby in the crook of your arm. Starting it, you managed to steer the car into the road with one hand, thank god for automatics.

  
Driving back into the city, your phone in your pocket started going off again, you had no idea how it was still charged after all this time. You kept casting quick glances down at the little girl in your arms, tears escaped your eyes every now and again, being truly blessed to be able to hold something so precious in your arms. Your heart pounded in your chest despite being exhausted but you were nervous as to what was going to happen when you got to the house you and your mother shared.

  
You had no idea how you were going to explain it, your mother had gotten back in town along with your step-brother a few days ago. You had yet to see them. As the stretch of brownstone houses came into view, you slowed down the car until you reached the house, the biggest out of all of them. And the one with the two armed men in suits outside.

  
Stumbling out of the car, paying no mind to the men with the looks they gave you, you shut the door as quietly as you could to not wake the baby. Your legs felt weak as you climbed the steps to the large door, once again fumbling about with your keys with your nervous hands to find the key which would unlock the door. Stepping through the threshold, the warmth immediately hit you, shoes squeaking on the polished wooden floor attracting the attention of someone in the other room.

  
A tall, brown-haired, middle-aged woman appeared in the archway, a flicker of surprise washed across her stern-looking face as she hurried towards you. The empty feeling of the place you called home suddenly seemed less welcoming that you thought given the ice-cold look your mother, Vivian was giving you.

  
“Whose baby is _that_?” She demanded with a look of disgust at her daughter. A far cry from the hugs and kisses which usually came with her when she got back into the city.

  
“She’s- she’s mine.” You stammered with a couple of tears flowing down your cheeks.

  
The revelation softened your mother’s features for a second before they hardened. “Who’s the father?”

  
“I- I don’t know. It was a one-night stand.” You admitted with a shameful look.

  
“No,” Vivian said firmly, “absolutely not. You are not ruining your life like this. Give it to me.”

  
Vivian made a move to grab your baby and you took a couple of steps back, clutching her tighter in your grasp.

  
“Y/N.” Your mother warned.

  
“No.”

  
“There is no way in hell you’re keeping that _thing_.” Vivian snarled. “I am not having this family’s reputation tarnished by the likes of you. What’s worse you hid this _thing _from me while your step-brother and I were away. You will give this to me, right now!” She bellowed, your baby stirred at the raised voice but she didn’t cry.

  
“You’re not having her!” You wailed.

  
Vivian’s eyebrows raised as her eyes darkened, it wasn’t often you disobeyed your mother, but this time it was different.

  
“You fuckin’ whore, you were always a disappointment!” She shouted. “You’ve brought ruin to this family, your father will be rolling in his grave. And just you wait until Brock finds out about this.” Vivian pointed a finger at you.

  
The name almost made you shudder. Your stepbrother, only he really wasn’t, just some boy your father saw potential in to run the Family one day and since you weren’t enough for him, he decided you would never have full control of the family.

  
“So what if he does?”

  
“You know damn well what he’ll do if he does. Does loyalty mean nothing to you? The family business?” Vivian furiously asked.

  
“I don’t _want _to be in the family business.” You snapped. “I don’t _want _to be a part of this family. She _needs _me. She needs me and I can’t just- I can’t let you have her.” You sobbed.

  
“His little girl, nothing more than a slut. He’d put a bullet in the man who knocked you up if he could. How disappointed he’d be.” Vivian snarled.

  
You looked at your mother with tears in your eyes, that cold look plastered across her face hadn’t left as you stared at the woman who had raised you. There were no feelings of warmth and realised that you were definite in your decision you had made earlier that day; you wouldn’t let down your daughter the way your own mother had let you down. You _had _to do this. You couldn’t just give her away.

  
“Yeah, well, father’s dead,” You flatly said, “and I’m not one of you.”

  
“Oh, you stupid girl.” Vivian laughed, the sound devoid of any humour as she watched her daughter with cold anger glinting in her eyes. The sound of laughter died on her lips, and her voice took on a frosty tone as she gave her an arrogant look.

  
“Go then. I dare you. Go. You’ve always been so desperate to escape this life. Now you have your chance, let’s see how well you do without your family. Without our name. Without our protection. You think that you can do this? Raise her by yourself? You’re wrong, you can’t. Get out, and don’t come back!”

  
You don’t know if your mother expected you to turn around or give into her, but you spun around on the spot, stepping back outside into the cold air, ignoring the two men outside who had undoubtedly heard your screaming match with your mother, probably along with the rest of the street. The sound of the door slamming made you jolt as you got to your car parked on the side of the street along with the car belonging to your mother’s goons. You got back into your car with haste, itching to get out of there as fast as you could, only when you knew you were in a relatively safe area did you pull over and stop the car.

  
No one came after you like they had all the other times you had tried to run away, and you knew that her mother had meant what she’d said. There was no room for a bastard baby in her family. Their pride wouldn’t be able to stand it. If she’d known, if her _Vivian _had known, you knew you would’ve found yourself at the clinic, or at the altar, and you shuddered at the thought of what Vivian would’ve forced you into. At least this way, you had made your own decision.

  
You had a feeling something like this would happen, so a few days ago before Vivian and Brock had returned you packed a bag just in case. While you had been pregnant, you visited the more run-down parts of the city of Boston, to scout a location where you could give birth. A hospital was too high profile, Brock would’ve known in a matter of minutes as soon as you would’ve walked through the doors with your contractions. You had monitored your baby at a quiet clinic outside the city for the various scans throughout your pregnancy.

  
The bag in the boot held enough cash to keep you ticking over for the next six months or so, along with various items you had bought for the baby and some clothes for yourself. You looked down at the precious life that was still sleeping in your arms, you still couldn’t believe you had made it this far. But the journey wasn’t over yet, you and your little bean had a long way to go and you could only hope both of you would survive. 

  
“I’m gonna make sure nobody takes you from me.” You swiped your thumb across the small forehead. “You’re mine and I love you.” You whispered.

  
Getting out of the car, you got the bag from the boot and dumped it on the backseat in case you needed to grab anything for her while you were driving. She was doing well so far, so quiet and you hoped she’d sleep long enough until you reached your destination. You’d have to get a new car there too, but that was one less thing to worry about right now. The most important thing was to get you and your baby out of this god-awful city. Starting the car again, you began the two-hour journey to New York.

* * *

“Hey Buck, you might wanna have a look at this. Just come through from traffic.” Bucky looked up from typing his latest report on his computer to his partner, Steve who was stood at the side of Bucky’s desk, holding a file in his hands.

  
He will get this report finished today or Tony would have his ass if he didn’t. Still, Bucky gave a quick nod, the yellow file was dropped on his keyboard and he picked it up, opening the cover to reveal the contents. Bucky pulled out a photo of a car driving through part of the city, a black sedan with tinted windows, at first, he thought it was nothing until he saw the zoomed-in picture of the number plate. Pennsylvania. And the driver. Bucky glanced up at Steve who wore a grim expression.

  
“Where is this?” Bucky asked, leaning back in his chair.

  
“Highway 78, just off the bridge.” Steve replied, running a hand through his blonde hair.

  
“They’ve got some nerve showin’ back up here.” Bucky commented with a scoff. “Why the girl?”

  
Steve shrugged. “Beats me, pal. They’re up to something.”

  
Bucky hummed. “Maybe. You got traffic monitoring?”

  
“Yeah.” Steve confirmed, picking up Bucky’s coffee cup and taking a drink of it, much to Bucky’s displeasure, giving his friend a scowl. “Car’s heading north, towards midtown.” Steve ignored Bucky’s expression.

  
“Okay, I’ll check it out.” Bucky made a move to get up.

  
“Need back-up?”

  
“Nah. Not if it’s just the girl. Keep an eye on any more of their cars entering the city for me.” Bucky said as he grabbed his badge, gun, and keys from his desk.

  
“Will do.” Steve gave a small nod of his head, before heading back to his own to make a few calls.

  
Tucking his gun down the back of his pants, Bucky made his way through the busy office in the precinct, luckily he didn’t run into the Captain and he managed to get away unnoticed. Entering the underground parking garage, questions were rolling around in his mind about what he had just seen. Surely the Pierce Family weren’t trying to reclaim the territory in the city, were they? It was a dumb move if they were and Bucky was going to make sure he found out what they were up to. They always sent the girl in first.


	2. The City and What Ifs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on a roll! Can't guarantee I'll be updating this often all the time though.
> 
> Thanks for the kudos left on the previous chapter. Appreciate it!

After changing the baby in the bathroom, you stepped back into the coffee shop, the rich aroma of coffee entered your nostrils as you found an empty booth and it took all your willpower to not collapse into it. You set the bag down on the seat, looking down at her in your arms, now sound asleep again. You had to stop on the way into the city to feed her and during the drive you had a lot of time to think about things, beginning to think that you might have been a bit rash in your decision. Were you ready to be a mother?

  
Your thoughts were interrupted by the waitress who had come over to take your order, ordering a latte and she smiled at you, glancing down at the baby in your arm before going to place it. Lily was the name you’d chosen on during your drive over, smiling at the thought of it, it was a name you’d always wanted to give to your child, plus your mother would never approve. The coffee arrived speedily from the waitress before she went off to clear a table. A thought struck you, were you allowed to drink coffee after giving birth? You had no idea, but you needed it after so many hours without sleep. You'd lost count by now but it was over twenty-four hours that's for sure. You looked awful when you had gazed in the mirror at your reflection earlier, people must think you’re a junkie or something from the way you looked.

  
You stayed there for a while, nursing your baby in between drinking your coffee, her little fingers wouldn’t let go of yours and it made your heart swoon. You read some books on caring for a baby during your pregnancy, but you couldn’t help worry. Wondering if the baby was okay after the birth, if you ought to take her to a hospital, although your mother had probably cancelled your health insurance already, being as vindictive as she was. A dozen concerns crossed your mind as she sat there. You had no home, not even a person you could trust, and your bottom lip trembled as you realised just how alone you were.

  
No, you weren’t going to cry here, you had to be strong, you were a single mother now with a baby whom you loved, no matter what life would throw at you, you were always going to rise above it. If there was one thing you’d learned being the daughter of a mob boss, it was never to show fear, whether that was to your friends, colleagues or enemies, because fear showed weakness. Yet the background noise, a mixture of the music playing in the shop and the conversations between the other customers seemed like a faint sound in the distance. Their mouths moved, but nothing came out.

  
The next place you needed to find would an internet café so you could start looking for places to stay, you’d destroyed your phone back in Philadelphia so Brock would be unable to track you to the city. At least the car you had was personal with no tracking device because you had checked it a few days prior. It was mid-afternoon now, time was ticking. The waitress who had served you came past and you stopped her.

  
“Could I have the bill please?” You asked.

  
“It’s already been taken care of, ma’am.” She replied with a smile.

  
“Oh.” You were surprised. “By who?”

  
“A gentleman in the far corner over there.” She pointed him out and you followed her gaze.

  
A dark-haired man in a blue button-up shirt sat at one of the tables, drinking his own coffee glanced up and made direct eye contact at you, sporting a dusting of stubble on his jawline. He wasn’t one of Brock’s goons that much you could tell, but the fact that he might be an associate to one the families here that you knew Brock kept in contact with made you wary. He placed the mug down on the table and stood from his seat, immediately walking over to where you were sitting in the booth. You visibly tensed as he shortened the distance between you and him, you brought Lily up to your chest, holding her protectively and his stride faltered when he saw her. He pulled something out of his pocket, a badge, he was a cop.

  
The man sat in the seat opposite you, a somewhat hardened look on his face, a look meant to intimidate someone yet you detected a little bit of softness there too. From the baby, perhaps? Nevertheless, you weren’t about to let your guard down.

  
“What can I do for you, officer?” You asked with a polite smile on your face.

  
“Detective.” He corrected with a smooth, silky voice before he leaned his elbows on the table. “Depends if you’re willing to cooperate, Miss Pierce.” Horror spread across your face, you were so stupid coming to a public place like this. Someone must’ve reported you, does Brock know where you are? “If I’m not mistaken, I’m supposed to arrest you, or anyone linked to the Pierce Family the moment they set foot in the city. So, I’m gonna ask you, what are you doing here?” He asked sternly.

  
“You’re gonna arrest me regardless, right?” You swallowed the lump in your throat.

  
“Answer the question, ma’am.” He pressed, his blue eyes remained steely.

  
“I’m not here for the Family.” You said quietly. “I’m- I’m trying to run from them.”

  
“Runnin’, huh? What, a life of organised crime is too mundane for you now?” He asked with a conceited tone.

  
“No!” You snapped. “I never wanted the life. Never.”

  
He folded his arms. “And how do I know this isn’t some cover story with you and a baby to put us cops off your scent?”

  
“Cause she’s my baby, Detective.” You felt the tears build up in your eyes. “And I don’t want her growing up, living through the hell I did. She deserves more than that.”

  
His eyes flickered down to Lily and he studied her for a moment, tiny parted lips and small splotches of dried blood still on her skin of which you were fully aware of.

  
“How old is she, ma’am?” The Detective asked, looking back at you. He knew, he definitely knew. 

  
“About five hours.” You replied with a small voice.

  
“Five hours?” He repeated; his eyes widened is disbelief. “You should still be in hospital.”

  
“I didn’t go.” You mumbled, lowering your gaze with fear that your baby was about to be taken away, you certainly didn’t look okay. “I couldn’t go.”

  
A small cry escaped Lily’s lips, gaining your attention as you looked down at your daughter, you smiled as she scrunched up her tiny face before settling back down again. She was perfect. You looked up at the Detective who was still watching your every move.

  
“Detective, please, I don’t want any trouble. I just want what’s best for her. I swear.” You pleaded with him.

  
He sighed with a look that he was trying to figure out if you were telling the truth or not. Besides he had no reason to believe you, given whose name you were associated with and the fact that you’d been arrested by the NYPD before for being involved with organised crime.

  
“Is that why you came here? You know they won’t follow you?”

  
“My mother kicked me out. But that’s not to say they’ll come. They always do.” You said sadly.

  
He seemed to believe you and throughout the conversation, his expression had softened ever so slightly, especially when you had mentioned Lily was yours.

  
“What’s her name?” He asked, his eyes cast a glance down at the baby in your arm.

  
“Lily, Detective.” You smiled.

  
“She’s beautiful.”

  
“Thank you.”

  
“Do you have a place to stay tonight?”

  
“Not yet.” You shook your head.

  
“Okay.” He breathed. “At least let me take you down to the station, Miss Pierce. You’re not under arrest, I promise. That way we can arrange some sort of accommodation for you.” The look he was giving you calmed your nerves; he was being genuine and honest that much you could tell.

  
“Please, call me Y/N.”

  
“Y/N.” He nodded and you liked the way your name sounded when he said it. You didn’t reply straight away, and it was only when he was giving you an expectant look did you realise that he was waiting for an answer.

  
“I’ll- I’ll go with you.” You told him with a bit of confidence in your voice and that was enough for him to offer you an encouraging smile.

  
“C’mon.” He made a move to get up and swiftly took your bag slinging it on his shoulder while you shuffled your way, as elegant as you could, out of the booth. The Detective outstretched his hand in an offer to help you up, you took it, thanking him as you stood and blushing slightly at his chivalry.

  
“I’m Detective Barnes, by the way. James Barnes, or you can call me Bucky if you like” He introduced himself to you.

  
“Bucky?” You questioned, inquisitively with a half-smile tugging at your lips. 

  
Bucky chuckled. “Nickname, but that’s a story for another day.” He gave you a sideways smile, and if it wasn’t the prettiest smile you'd seen.

  
Bucky walked you out of the café and onto the street, the cold air hit you, making you shiver slightly and hold Lily closer to the warmth of your body. He guided you in the direction of his patrol car which was parked only a couple of cars down from the coffee shop and stopped you at the backdoor of it. You glanced at the door and them to him.

  
“You’re not under arrest, Y/N.” Bucky reiterated. “But I need you to ride in the back. It’s standard policy.”

  
“Okay.” You nodded and he opened the car door from you. “The bag’s gotta go in the trunk. Is there anythin’ you need from it?”

  
“No, I don’t think so.”

  
Once you were situated in the car, Bucky went to the boot to put the bag in before he got in the driver's seat, turning around to open the small window which separated you and him.

  
“You need anythin’ let me know, okay?”

  
You nodded again, hoping that you’d made the right decision as he started the car and pulled away from the curb.

* * *

The ride to the station was shorter than you thought and soon you were stopping outside the police station. There was a short pause while Bucky came to your door to open it so you could leave the vehicle, once again he helped you out of the car and you followed him around to the boot to grab your bag. He walked you up the steps and into the building, the main reception was bustling with activity and almost instinctively, you walked that little bit closer beside Bucky. Around you were a few detained people, being checked in by some officers while other non-handcuffed people were waiting in a seating area.

  
A few of them glanced in your direction as you walked by and you quickly looked the other way, trying to keep up with Bucky’s footsteps. Bucky brought you to the main desk, purposely placing himself between you and a detainee. On the other side sat a young man, he couldn’t have been more than twenty years old and he flashed the Detective a wide smile.

  
“Detective Barnes.” He greeted brightly.

  
“Parker.” Bucky acknowledged. “Can you sign her in, please? As a visitor.”

  
“Of course.” Parker looked from Bucky to you. “Can I have your name, please?”

  
“Y/N. Y/N Pierce.” You said quietly. Parker faltered slightly and Bucky raised an eyebrow causing Parker to look back at his computer and quickly type her name into the system.

  
“Some ID?” He asked.

  
“Parker she’s fine. Can we just hurry up?” Bucky exasperated.

  
“Um, yeah, okay. Let me tick these boxes…” Parker rambled on to himself and Bucky had to refrain himself from rolling his eyes. Finally, a badge was quickly printed and given to you.

  
Bucky gave Parker a quick nod and guided you to the security door, swiping his card to gain entry into another area of the building. Ahead of you was a room, filled with multiple desks, officers speaking loudly to one another, phones ringing left, right and centre, people rushing around clutching various paperwork to their chests. It was loud, busy and a bit unnerving for you and Bucky must’ve glanced down at you and seen your worried expression across your face. With a comforting hand on your shoulder, he took you away from the main hustle and bustle of the main office, leading you to an office with the writing ‘Sergeant Rhodes’ written on the door. Opening the door for you, he led you inside and gestured for you to take a seat in one of the leather seats positioned in front of the large desk.

  
You were glad Bucky had brought you away from the noisy office, you didn’t need to see the stares from the others in there because no doubt they would be judging you, walking through the office with a Detective, wanting to know why. Especially with a baby, looking homeless, tired. Fuck, you were a mess. The only thing that was keeping you going was the baby you held in your arms, she was the sole purpose of your life now, to raise her as best as you could. Bur before you could do that, you needed to get yourself away from the danger of your family and that wasn’t going to be easy.

  
“Y/N?” Bucky’s gentle voice broke your thoughts as he crouched in front of where you sat on the sofa. “You doin’ okay?”

  
You brought your eyes up to meet his, a flicker of concern in them.

  
“I think so.” You murmured as he looked past your shoulder for a moment before back at you.

  
“I’ve gotta go speak to my partner. You’re safe here, okay? I won’t be long.” Bucky reassured and you nodded solemnly.

  
In all fairness you didn’t want Bucky to go, his presence was comforting something you were missing in your life and the way he looked at you. You were sure he was a man who could charm many girls, who probably had girls screaming after him when he went out to bars, who wouldn’t with eyes like that, so blue, so big… _Stop thinking like that! _You mentally scolded yourself, Bucky wouldn’t be interested in someone like you and besides wouldn’t he be breaking law getting himself romantically involved with someone linked to the mob? You were pretty sure he would so you might as well leave those thoughts where they were. Bucky’s job was to make sure you were safe, right? Nothing else, nothing else at all.

  
Ten minutes passed and in that time you nursed Lily again, turning away from inside windows to give yourself a little privacy while she fed. Your little bundle of joy stayed awake after her feed leading you to start murmuring sweet nothings to her, smiling at her cute little scrunched up face, you were utterly in love with her. Behind you, the door to the office opened and you turned around to see Bucky enter with two other men, one was a tall, well-built guy with blonde hair while the other was a little shorter with brown hair a pair of designer glasses.

  
“Y/N,” Bucky started, “this is Detective Steve Rogers and Captain Tony Stark.” He pointed to the two men and you offered them a small smile.

  
All three went over to you, Bucky sat beside you while Steve sat on the desk and Tony seated himself on the chair behind the desk. The addition of another two officers made you a little uneasy, feeling like this was going to be some sort of interrogation. Steve’s eyes were locked on your baby, softly looking at her with a smile tugging at his lips.

  
“She’s beautiful.” Steve complimented and you thanked him.

  
“Stop gettin’ all broody Stevie, you’ve already got one.” Bucky teased his friend.

  
“You- you have a baby, Detective?” You addressed Steve who nodded.

  
“Yup I do.” He said with pride in his voice.

  
“How old are they?”

  
“She’s almost twelve months.” Steve smiled once more.

  
“Y/N.” Tony’s voice gained your attention. “Barnes has told me what you’ve told him. I’ve got people looking for some temporary accommodation for you as we speak, but in the meantime, there’s a few things I need to ask you. If you’re good to answer that is?”

  
You glanced back at Bucky who gave you a reassuring look. “Totally up to you, Y/N. You don’t have to.” He said to you, softly.

  
“A couple, Captain.” You responded, few couldn't hurt, at least that's what you thought.

  
“Can you confirm your name is Y/N Pierce, daughter of the late Alexander Pierce?” You almost winced at hearing your last name, you hated it with such passion.

  
“Yes.” You answered.

  
“Can you confirm to me and the witnesses in this room that you are not entering this city for any reason other than tourism?”

  
“Yes.”

  
“And should you engage in any criminal activity, you understand you will be arrested and prosecuted.”

  
“I understand.”

  
“Are you currently involved with the Pierce Crime Family?”

  
“No.” You said firmly. “I don’t want to be a part of it anymore.” You were still a member though; in the mob, membership was for life until death took you.

  
“Now, our friends at the FBI will be interested why you’re in the city and I can’t guarantee they won’t take action.”

  
You swallowed at his words and your shoulders tensed, Bucky said you were safe here. Did that mean you weren’t going to be after all?

  
“So,” he continued, “would you be willing to testify against the Family?”

  
“What?” Your eyes widened and you started to inhale short breaths of air, this isn’t what you were expecting.

  
Bucky slipped his arm around your shoulders giving you a comforting squeeze.

  
“Breath sweetheart.” He whispered in your ear, a gentle sound to reassure you and he pulled back just as you turned to look at him. “The FBI has a case against the Family, against Brock.” He told you in a gentler vibe that Tony was giving off. “I can’t say too much, but would you be willin’ to do that?” He asked.

  
When he said it, it felt less invasive and demanding, like Bucky was actually giving you a choice rather than expecting the obvious answer. You know Tony was just doing his job, they all were but first impressions of people was something you had learned to during your time on this planet. There was probably some sort of catch to this too you reckoned.

  
“Wh- what will I need to do?”

  
“Well, you’ll need to provide a statement for the FBI. Then, when they have enough evidence, you’ll have to speak in court, to prove the statement is true.” Bucky explained to you, taking his time to make sure you understood every word he said, preferring him to explain things to you rather than Captain Stark in all honesty.

  
There was the worry of the FBI getting involved too.

  
“The FBI? Won’t you guys be handling it?” You aired your concerns to them.

  
“It’s out of our jurisdiction, Y/N. But we’re a division that specialises in organised crime, so we can help you.” He clarified and you mentally cursed yourself for not knowing that. Of course, they wouldn’t be handling it, your father’s gang operated in Philadelphia, not New York. Luckily, they didn’t call you out on your stupid mistake, perhaps mistaking it for your visual exhaustion.

  
“I need time to think.” You told them, quietly.

  
“Okay.” Bucky squeezed your shoulder. “C’mon guys, let’s give her some space.”


	3. New Beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Swearing

Bucky had Tony, Steve and Sam Wilson all staring at him like he’d just suggested he was going to go rob the federal reserve, on his own. His actual proposal to them was a much safer solution in his opinion, compared to the buildings Sam had just told them about, Bucky didn’t like any of those options. There was more security too and it would give him peace of mind knowing that you were somewhere safe and where it would be harder for anyone trying to learn your whereabouts. If Brock did end up looking for you, the last thing he’d expect would be you staying with a cop in the city. Now, all he had to do was to convince the others and get them on board with it.

  
“Bucky, out of all the years we’ve worked together, I can honestly say, this has been one of your dumbest ideas yet.” Tony chastised, breaking the silence between the four of them and the first man to voice his opinions. “No, _the _dumbest.”

  
“It ain’t dumb, Tony,” Bucky argued back, “she’s a new mother, has nowhere to go or anyone to help her.”

  
“And you believe the story she’s telling us?” Tony questioned with narrowed eyes.

  
“I do" Bucky confirmed. “Tony, you weren’t there at the café, you didn’t see the look in her eye. I saw how scared she was, she might be a daughter of a dead mob boss, but she’s not one of his soldiers.”

  
“Have you forgotten how long it took us to shift her father from this city? Y/N might have daddy issues, family issues, whatever. Point is, she’s still a member of that Family. Whether you wanna believe it or not.” He barked out at his detective.

  
Bucky was fully aware of how much effort both the department and the FBI had put in trying to get rid of the Pierce Family influence in the city. He had been a young detective back then, his role in bringing down the crime family had been small and learned a great deal from it too.

  
“I never said she ain’t member, Stark. I’m sayin’ that there might be more to this.”

  
“Whaddya mean, Buck?” Steve questioned.

  
Bucky turned his attention to him. “I don’t know. Just got this gut feelin’ is all.” He shrugged.

  
Tony sighed dramatically. “I can’t put ‘gut feeling’ on a report Barnes. I need something more solid than that. We need to interrogate her.”

  
“Not today.” Bucky cut in. “Poor girl’s been through enough. Look, lemme take her and get her settled in. In the meantime, we alert the FBI and set up a time for her to make a statement.”

  
“Erm, you’re leaving out the step where you ask me for permission first.” Tony chided, giving Bucky a look.

  
“Captain,” Bucky said with a sardonic tone to his voice, “do I have permission to suggest that Y/N stays with me until we can find some suitable accommodation for her?” He asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm, causing Sam to snort and Tony gave them both a disapproving look in return. He loved messing with his boss from time to time.

  
“If you weren’t such a good detective, I’d have to decline that request, Detective.” Tony raised a brow. “As long as Y/N agrees, you have my permission. Temporarily.” He added.

  
“Temporarily.” Bucky nodded in agreement.

  
“Right I need to make a few calls. Keep me posted Barnes, Rogers.” Tony looked between the two men.

  
“Will do, Captain.” Bucky assured before his boss walked away and he turned to Sam. “Thanks for your help, Sam.”

  
“Not a problem.” Sam smiled. “You guys need help with anythin’?”

  
“Nah, I think we’re covered.” Bucky told him.

  
“Holla at me if ya do.” Sam said before he went back to his desk.

  
Bucky glanced through the office window at you still sat on the sofa, your head hung, probably giving most of your attention to your baby. He only hoped his instinct was right about you, otherwise, he’d be finding himself in a whole heap of trouble. And probably out of a job too, but Bucky’s instinct usually ended up being correct, he’d learnt that a long time ago and he still regretted not listening to it that day. Perhaps this time, things might not end as badly.

  
“Buck?” Steve’s gentle voice broke him out of his thoughts and Bucky glanced up at his friend who had placed his hand on his shoulder. “Are you sure you wanna do this?”

  
Steve knew exactly what his best friend was thinking about, course he was, they’d been best friends since they were kids, they knew each other inside out and sometimes better than they knew themselves.

  
“I’m sure, Stevie.” Bucky replied confidently.

  
“You haven’t-”

  
“I know!” Bucky snapped, cutting Steve off and immediately regretting it, hanging his head a little bit. “Sorry, Steve.”

  
“It’s okay, Buck.” Steve assured with a smile taking his hand away. “You always were a sucker for a lady in distress, huh?” He joked, bumping his shoulder with Bucky’s trying to lighten the sudden darkened mood.

  
“Fuck you.” Bucky kept on scowling, but there was a hint of a smile there.

  
A smirk crept upon Steve’s lips. “No thanks, got Peg to do that.”

  
“I did not need that mental image.” Bucky groaned, dragging a hand down his handsome face.

  
“Speaking of.” Steve continued.

  
“What? Fuckin’ your wife?” Bucky deadpanned.

  
“No, asshole. What I meant was Peg and I still have a lot of our new-born stuff back at our place. Zoe is more than welcome to have it.”

  
Bucky nodded. “Thanks, pal. Suppose I should go ask her, then.”

  
The two detectives entered the office, you turned around when they did, making their way around the sofa towards you. Bucky crouched in front of the sofa, peering up at you with his baby blues, there was that concern etched in them again.

  
“You doin’ okay?” Bucky asked, softly.

  
A tiny warm feeling rose within you at his constant checking in, it was something you weren’t used to yet you were very grateful for his vigilance of your well being at the same time. However, your expression told a different story.

  
“Just tired.” You didn’t mean to sound whiny, but you were physically exhausted, every single muscle in your body just ached and you wanted to lie down.

  
“I know, Y/N. Listen, we’ve found some places for you to stay but they ain’t suitable for ya.” Your eyes widened at his words, they didn’t have anywhere for you to go and a million questions ran through your mind. Bucky must’ve seen the panic spread across your face and he continued to speak.

  
“Hey, we got a solution. Would you like to stay with me?” Bucky suggested.

  
“Wh-what?” You stammered, shifting your position slightly.

  
“My apartment has got an alarm system plus there’s security cameras in every hall. And there’s security guy on the front desk too. It’ll only be for a little while, ‘til we set you up with your own place. And it’s safe, a lot safer than a shelter or a hostel.”

  
You didn’t know how to respond; it wasn’t that you didn’t want to take him up on his offer because you did. Bucky wasn’t trying to take advantage of you that much was clear, out of all of them he was the one who seemed to believe you the most and he’d been nothing but kind and caring. You were worried that Brock would try to find you, your mother had kicked you out sure, but that was her temper getting the better of her and you knew it, they’d want you back. Brock always gets what he wants and never lets anything stand in his way.

  
“Bucky I- you don’t even know me.” You whispered.

  
“I can’t have you on the street, sweetheart.” For a moment, you forgot Steve was in the room because you couldn’t stop staring at the man in front of you. A man, a cop, who was willing to take in a woman and baby, a woman who was linked with the Mafia no less.

  
“You don’t have a roommate or anythin’?”

  
Bucky shook his head. “No roommate, no girlfriend. Just a spare bedroom.”

  
“No girlfriend? That’s hard to believe.” There was a small smile on your lips, and you were surprised at your sudden boldness.

  
Bucky chuckled slightly. “Just me.”

  
“I’ll stay with you. And testify too.”

  
“Good. I’m glad.” Bucky smiled.

  
“I’ll let Tony know.” Steve’s voice sounded and glanced up at him where he was standing. “You’ll be safe with Buck, Y/N. He’s a good man.” Bucky grinned widely hearing his friend’s support like that and it reassured you too.

* * *

The next two hours were an absolute whirlwind of emotion, exhaustion and you were honestly overwhelmed by everything that had gone on in the past thirty-six hours. Bucky had taken you to his apartment, informing you on the way that Steve and Peggy were coming by with some of their old stuff from when their baby had been a new-born whose name was Willow. His apartment was beautifully decorated, the open plan of his living and kitchen areas were spacious enough, airy and bright, so was the bathroom. The bedrooms were big enough too, the master being slightly bigger of the two, but you didn’t mind, you had a roof over your head, and it was more than you had been expecting.  
Waiting for Steve and Peggy to show, Bucky had sorted his spare bedroom out for you, it wasn’t used often and Bucky barely went in there only to clean it every once in a while. When he had stepped through the threshold, that uneasy feeling returned as he took a long deep breath before continuing, if only things were different. Pushing those thoughts aside, he changed the sheets and opened the window to let some air in, there wasn’t much in there but enough closet space for you to put your stuff.

  
When Steve and Peggy came over with Willow, they’d brought masses of things for you and Lily, including their old bassinet and a playmat, both of which had been sterilised a while back. They had never gotten around to selling the things they didn’t need and had brought you a lot of baby clothes too. You’d gone out and bought some yourself beforehand, but you were grateful for these too. Peggy was a wonderful woman and she’d even brought some of her clothes for yourself, despite your protests and her insistence that you have them. The tone to her British accent suggested to you she wasn’t a woman to argue with.

  
You saw how Bucky interacted with Willow, she had been squirming in her mother’s arms as soon as she had seen him. Bucky had cooed the toddler as soon as Peggy had passed her over to him and Bucky had Willow giggling in seconds, pretending to tickle her and soon she had been squirming in Bucky’s grasp. Watching that interactive gave you a little more confidence in Bucky, not that you thought any less of him before, but knowing he had a little experience with babies gave you a piece of mind.

  
While the boys brought in the various stuff that Steve had brought over, you and Peggy had moved over to the sofa and began chatting immediately, with her gushing over your little one. She offered her help and advice if you ever needed it and you assured her that you probably would, no matter how much preparation was done beforehand, you’d only learn to be a mother when you were one. If that didn’t overwhelm you, you were when Natasha Romanoff had stopped by, she was a detective at the station and Sam’s partner. Natasha had brought even more clothes for you and you saw just how close-knit these people were, making you smile internally.

  
Everything was ready, so you began to prepare Lily for bed, changing her and feeding her one more time while Bucky was seeing Steve and Peggy off. After, you stood in the middle of Bucky’s apartment, overjoyed by all the kindness you’d been shown, never expecting something like this would be happening to you. Anything you hadn’t got; Bucky had bought to be delivered and you’d paid him back with the cash you had. A tear escaped your eye, which turned in several with the emotions running high in your body. You barely registered Bucky walking through the door and shutting it behind him but he did notice the glisten of the tears on your cheek.

  
“Hey, Y/N?” Bucky’s voice sounded in the apartment and you turned slightly to look at him. “Everything okay?”

  
You wiped the tears from your cheek with a shy smile, a little embarrassed that you were stood there crying.

  
“Yeah.” You breathed as he crossed the apartment towards you. “Hormones.” You chuckled. “I’m gonna get both of us to bed. I think we both need it.”

  
“You look like you need it.” Bucky paused. “Not that you look awful or anythin’, you don’t, you look normal, I mean, you don’t just look normal, you look… you… I’ll, um, I’ll shut up.” Bucky’s cheeks flushed a shade of pink with his rambling, placing his hand on the back of his neck and biting down on his lower lip.

  
“See you in a bit, Bucky.” You smiled finding his embarrassment a little bit amusing.

  
He hadn’t offended you at all, you knew you looked like crap. Picking up Lily from the changing mat you headed down the hallway towards your room, the last ounce of your energy allowing you to place her in the bassinet and only then did you collapse on your bed. You took advantage of your baby sleeping because it wouldn’t be too long until she woke up, let those sleepless nights commence.

* * *

The first time you woke up to the sound of Lily’s cries you tried to get your bearings of the room, nothing had felt familiar at all, until you realised where you were. Five times Lily woke you up during the night, twice to be changed and three times to be fed and she always wouldn’t stop crying afterwards either. It took a lot of swaying and singing lullabies to send her off back to sleep and the longer it took, the more you felt incredibly guilty because you knew Bucky would be able to hear. You hadn’t been around babies before and was choking back sobs when frustration got the better of you.

  
Morning soon came and you were physically exhausted, it didn’t feel like you’d slept at all and you sleepily sat up in bed to be greeted with the strong aroma of coffee in the air. Climbing out of bed, you padded over to Lily who was sleeping and quickly checked the time on the nightstand, she’d be due another feed soon. Lily’s eyes were bright and open this morning, making you smile inside as you reached down to gently pick her up, supporting her head.

  
“How’s my beautiful girl doin’?” You cooed swaying a little bit before heading towards the door and walking down the hallway.

  
Bucky was in the kitchen, sat at the counter island with a cup of coffee and was watching the news on the television. He glanced across when he saw you walk in with Lily, offering a bright smile as you placed Lily in the Moses basket. It was then you realised that you hadn’t even gotten a shower yet, or looked in the mirror, you probably looked just as bad as you did yesterday, or worse.

  
“Morning, Y/N. There’s some breakfast for you on the side.” Bucky informed you while you were finishing tucking her blankets in.

  
Looking up you turned to him. “Morning.” You replied with a smile before it soon faded. “Sorry if Lily woke you last night.” The look you gave him was extremely apologetic as you spied the food he was talking about and went over to grab it.

  
Instead, Bucky shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. Besides, I took the day off.”

  
“You have?” You asked, slipping into the barstool beside him.

  
He nodded. “Yeah, I- I was wonderin’ if you’re up for a trip to the hospital? To make sure everythin’s alright with you and Lily. You don’t have to.” Bucky was messing with the handle on his mug as he spoke.

  
“I would do, but I need to save the money I have.” You told him, going to get yourself checked out at the hospital had crossed your mind but you didn’t have that much money.  
“I can charge it to the station. You won’t have to pay anything.”

  
Your lips parted slightly. “Are you sure, Bucky?”

  
“Positive.” The corners of his lips tugged at a smile.

  
“Lemme shower first though. And feed Lily.”

  
“Take all the time you need.”

  
You were quiet for a few moments, unsure of what to say sitting next to a total stranger, a stranger who had helped you and offered you his home when he didn’t have to. If Bucky felt any of the same unease, then he didn’t show it while he drank his coffee and checking his phone for any messages.

  
“Do you want coffee?” He asked, breaking the silence.

  
You looked up at him. “Um, yeah. Two sugars, please.”

  
“Comin’ right up!” He said enthusiastically, throwing a smile your way.

  
After breakfast, Bucky busied himself with the dishes allowing you to have some privacy on the sofa to feed Lily. She’d fallen back asleep while you’d been eating, but she soon stirred when you offered her. Quickly wiping her mouth with the bib and burping her humming a tune, you got her settled back into the basket where she drifted off back to sleep again. You asked Bucky to keep an eye on her while you got showered and he said that he would, he almost looked pleased that you’d asked him.

  
Three-quarters of an hour later and you were ready, a bag packed with everything you needed for Lily while you would be out with her, you didn’t realise how much stuff you needed. When you stepped into the apartment you saw Bucky had gotten out the car seat Peggy and Steve brought over yesterday, it had been a gift from Steve’s parents after the couple had already bought one. You transferred Lily into the car seat and with one final check, you both headed out of the apartment and to the hospital.

  
Everything went smooth there and luckily for you, they assumed that you’d delivered the baby at home which apparently, was more frequent that you thought it was. Both you and the baby were in good health and the doctor gave you advice on the post-pregnancy care for you and Lily. After, the paperwork was filled out to get Lily an official birth certificate which put you on edge with the thought of something that could leave a record. No-one knew where you were, your phone was lying crushed in the middle of the road on the outskirts of Philadelphia. Despite the words from your mother, your family wouldn’t let you get away that easily.

  
You told Bucky about not having a phone and he told you that he’d drop you off at his apartment and go out to buy one for you, he said he had errands to run anyway. Bucky walked you back up to the apartment too and located his spare key to give to you before he headed back out. After situating Lily, you had a couple of hours according to Bucky, so you decided to tidy his apartment. It was clean, just the odd jobs that needed doing like putting the dishes away that had collected next to the sink, probably from the past couple of days and a pile of clothes waiting to be ironed. In the pantry there was laundry basket was placed in front of the washing machine and after locating the washing tablets you set that going too.

  
With things to do, you quickly put the plates and cutlery away before getting the ironing board and iron to start on the pile of clothes. Most of it was shirts and trousers, presumably what Bucky wore for work and you ironed them to perfection, even ironing in creases down the sleeves and the front and back of the pants. After each item, you carefully folded them up and placed them in the now-empty laundry basket, you thought about taking them into his room, but you decided against it.

  
All in all, that only took an hour, so you tried to think of something else to do. Checking the time, it was almost four, an early start on dinner perhaps? You didn’t even know what he liked, so you rummaged through the cupboards and freezer to find enough ingredients for a stir fry, everyone likes those, right? Deciding on that, you began defrosting the meat and chopping the vegetables, checking on Lily in between when she started to cry for another change.

  
You were so engrossed in cooking dinner that you hardly noticed Bucky come through the door carrier several shopping bags. When he saw you busy humming away to yourself, smelt the aroma of some sort of Chinese food in the air and heard the sizzling of the saucepan, he stopped dead in his tracks, his lips parted. The scene before Bucky looked so… domesticated and those thoughts came barrelling back into his mind once again. Maybe… just maybe this was fate and perhaps someday he would be given his second chance.

  
“Bucky?” Your concerned voice floated into his head and he noticed you were looking at him. “You okay?”

  
“I’m fine.” Bucky mentally shook his head. “Thought I’d left my wallet in the shop.” He lied, hoping he sounded convincing enough, stepping forward and shutting the door.  
“Did you get everything?”

  
“Yep. And a new phone.” He told you, walking forward to place the bags on the table and spotted the laundry basket full of clothes.

  
“You made dinner, Y/N? And did my ironing?” He asked in a surprised tone.

  
You took the pan off the stove, the sizzling dying down and shrugged. “Yeah well, I’m living here rent-free. Thought I should at least pull my weight a bit.”

  
“You had a baby, Y/N.” Bucky stressed. “And you’re my guest. You don’t need to do anythin’ round here.”

  
“I don’t want to take advantage of you.” You hung your head, avoiding his eyes.

  
Bucky placed his hands on your upper arms. “You’re not takin’ advantage.” He said softly, causing you to look at him. “It’s my job to keep you safe and that’s exactly what I’m gonna do. I can promise you that.” His intense gaze told you he meant what he said, you were beginning to recognise the loyalty in his character.

  
“Thank you, Bucky. For letting me stay here.” You smiled at him.

  
“Not a problem, sweetheart. I’ve seen what those hostels and shelters are like. They ain’t nice.” He took his hands off you.

  
“So you figured you’d be the knight in shining armour coming’ to the rescue of a woman and her baby?” You teased with a twinkle in your eye.

  
Bucky chuckled. “Somethin’ like that, yeah. Wouldn’t be right lettin’ ya fend for yourself, ‘specially in this city.”

  
“Oh, you’re a ladies man, Bucky Barnes. With that smooth charm.” The teasing smile on your lips caused Bucky’s cheeks to flush, slightly.

  
“Trust me, that ain’t at the top of my list at the minute.” He replied.

  
“You’re more of a ‘married to your job’ kinda guy?”

  
“Not exactly.” His voice was a bit distant, so you decided to back off before you made the conversation awkward.

  
“Do you wanna set the table?” You changed the topic, watching his shoulders relax.

  
Bucky nodded, moving the bags onto the sofa and got the plates and cutlery out of the relevant cupboards. Meanwhile, you dished out the food on the plates he gave you and settled down to eat.


	4. Fallen Angel in the Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Angst, it's gotta start somewhere, right? 
> 
> Just to put it out there, this touches on post-natal depression and I can assure you it won't get any heavier than what is in this chapter. 
> 
> Feedback is always appreciated!

In the few days that followed, motherhood was kicking your ass well and truly. Time seemed to pass by so quickly in the apartment during the day when Bucky was at work, whether it was attending to Lily’s needs or washing the bottles and washing her tiny clothes in a separate wash to everything else. You were certainly feeling the exhaustion and although you managed to get a nap in every now and then, it was nothing like getting a proper good night’s sleep. It was only day three and motherhood was becoming increasingly difficult each day, there was no time for yourself and what little time you did manage to get, Lily’s cries would always take priority from what you were doing.

  
Fatigued muscles and tangled hair were the least of your worries, not to mention you’d worn the same clothes for the past two days. If Bucky noticed, well he didn’t say anything. He made breakfast in the morning since usually he went to work quite early and you sometimes made dinner despite his protests claiming you didn’t have to. To top it off, your nipples were sore from the breastfeeding too and no matter how much lotion you put on them, the pain remained.

  
You were drained, physically and emotionally drained and it hadn’t even been a week yet and you had no idea how you were going to keep this up. There was a lot more to head your way. Lily was so small and the thoughts of her getting bigger, learning to walk, talk, going to preschool and somehow find a job eventually to support you and her, it felt like the impossible. Being reminded of those things you knew it’d be worth it, watching her grow from a tiny baby into a toddler, celebrating her birthdays, being there when she says her first word, the list was endless. It was those kinds of things you needed to tell yourself that everything would be all worth it and Lily would be proud to call you her mother. However, that light was just a faint spot in the distance and before it appeared a lot of hills to climb before you were able to reach it.

  
Then there were the dark bags under your eyes from Lily waking up constantly in the middle of the night, to be fed, changed or just cuddled. Books said that you’d learn to differentiate her cries, knowing what she’d want in time but for now it was a guessing game. It frustrated you beyond belief.

  
Lily’s cries were a piercing sound through the room and once again you were woken to them. You checked the time which was 4 am, she had cried almost two hours ago for a feed and after spending half an hour with her, you’d finally fallen back asleep. Groggily you dragged yourself out of bed and switched on the lamp to attend to your daughter, picking her up from the bassinet.

  
“What’s wrong, Jellybean?” You cooed, using a nickname you gave her yesterday. “You need changing, hmm?”

  
Lily didn’t smell but you still took her to the changing table only to find the soft fabric of the nappy was totally dry. Sighing, you fastened it back up and still had a crying baby, so placing Lily against your chest you started to gently sway, shushing her at the same time. You fussed over her as any mother would and still, she squirmed in your hands, so you decided to try a bottle despite feeding her two hours ago. As predicted, Lily didn’t take the bottle and if anything, it caused her to cry even more.

  
Taking a slow, deep breath to compose yourself, you tried not to stress out over it, but not being able to figure out what your daughter needed made you feel like a bad mother. It should be instinct, you thought, to know and right now you didn’t, Lily continued to scream. Perhaps it was the mental exhaustion that wasn’t allowing your brain to function properly like your body was on autopilot for your own needs and not hers. Lily wasn’t the only thing on your mind, making up the upcoming statement to the FBI and fearing for what the future would hold for you were things that you’d been thinking about lately.

  
Thinking about that made you stop swaying and shushing Lily, so there you were standing in the middle of the room with a baby crying into your shoulder.

  
“Oh, Lil what’s wrong Jellybean?” You cooed to her. “Please stop crying.”

  
You started to shush and sway again to no avail, there was something you were missing with her and it began to upset you that you couldn’t figure it out.

  
“Please.” You begged, feeling tears prick the corner of your eyes, hating seeing her like this.

  
“I don’t know what you want.” You sniffed. “I don’t know.”

  
You felt on the urge of giving up, you couldn’t do this, you just couldn’t, not with everything you had going on. Juggling being a mother with trying to write down what you were going to say for the upcoming statement and worrying about being found by Brock, it was getting too much. The minutes slowly ticked by and the crying continued.

  
With the screaming baby in the room, you barely heard your bedroom door open, turning around to see a tired-looking Bucky stood behind it. You immediately felt awful, knowing he’d probably been woken up by Lily’s constant crying. He walked forward slowly as if he was anticipating you to stop him but you didn’t and allowed him to enter.

  
“I… I can’t get her to stop.” You said to him, hanging your head a little as you had Lily in your hold.

  
Bucky held your gaze with a soft look, his eyes flicking to Lily before back to you. “May I?” He asked, voice heavy with sleep and held his arms out slightly towards you.  
You hesitated at first, the worry of cleanliness sweeping through your mind, but Bucky had been taking extra precautions since he’d invited you to live with him. So, you carefully lifted Lily from your chest and placed her into Bucky’s waiting arms, making sure he had a good hold of her before you let go. His eyes never left Lily’s small form, completely unfazed and a smile appeared on his lips.

  
“Why you givin’ your mommy a hard time, huh?” He fussed softly and began swaying her. “You want some attention, is that it?”

  
You watched Bucky as he stepped away from you, the smile never left as he began to sing to her.

  
“_The evening is a coming, the sun sets to its rest. The pigeons are all flying home to their nests. Coo says the pigeon as he flies overhead. It’s time all little people were going to bed._” Bucky paused, changing the way he held Lily, so she was laying against his chest like you had been holding her. “_The flowers are a dozing, the daisies are asleep. The primroses are snuggled in a slumber so deep. Closed up for the night are the roses so red. It’s time all little people were going to bed_.”

  
He had a lovely singing voice, a soothing tone for the baby crying in his arms and he went on to bounce her gently, repeating the verse he’d just sang. You observed Bucky, trying not to get emotional watching him with your daughter knowing it should be her own father doing this right now and instead it was a man you barely knew. Taking a couple of steps back you sat down on the edge of the bed, Bucky turned around with her and gave you a quick smile before resuming his singing. Towards the end, Lily’s cries were starting to quieten down and Bucky still fussed over her, from where you were sitting your heard him mumble unintelligible words.

  
“Do you like my singin’, hmm?” Bucky chuckled lowly, his attention still on her.

  
You felt like a failure if you were being honest with yourself sitting on the edge of that bed watching Bucky literally sing your daughter to sleep. While you rested your arms on your thighs, a small part of you wanted to resent him for knowing what to do, you knew it was just your jealousy and every other emotion running through your body making you think like that. Bucky was a natural with Lily, anyone could see that. Soft, tired noises came from Lily’s mouth and you looked up to see Bucky still smiling at her.

  
“I reckon someone’s tired. Let’s get you to sleep so your mom can too.” Bucky looked over at you. “Does Mommy wanna tuck you in?”

  
“You can if you want to.” You smiled warmly or tried to.

  
“You sure?” He asked and you nodded in reply.

  
Bucky started fussing over Lily as he gently placed her back into the bassinet, a pair of small innocent eyes stared up at him with so much life ahead of them. He felt a lump form in his throat, thinking about the what if’s that frequently enter his mind when he finds himself babysitting Willow for Steve and Peggy. Pushing those thoughts aside, Bucky’s lips broke out into a wide smile at the infant before he straightened up, casting a glance at your hunched over form on the edge of the bed.

  
“Thank you.” You sniffed, still staring at the floor as Bucky sat beside you.

  
“It’s no problem.” He responded softly and you made yourself lift your head to meet his gaze.

  
There was no judgement in his steel-blue eyes, just a gleam of kindness and patience that really shined through into his personality too. Though, you supposed, part of Bucky’s job wasn’t to judge others so he could allow himself to see all the different sides to each case he was working on. Whatever it was, he certainly hadn’t let his judgement get in the way when it came to you. You just hoped he’d carry on not judging you, especially after when you would be providing the statement for the FBI.

  
Yet, your thoughts wandered back to how Bucky had handled Lily.

  
“How?” Your voice came through no more than a small whisper, ashamed at what you were going to ask him next and Bucky gave you a curious look. “How did you know what to do with Lil?”

  
The features on his face immediately softened at the sound of your broken voice. Up until now, you’d been putting on a brave face whenever Bucky was around, not wanting him to know how much you were struggling with this whole new experience. It was a survival instinct which had kicked in at the moment you had first stepped foot into the apartment. Nobody could ever know your weaknesses; they gave people an advantage over you.

  
“Honestly, I didn’t.” Bucky started. “I remember my mom tellin’ me I was a noisy baby. She used to sing to me, so I kinda went out on a whim an’ tried that.”

  
“God, why didn’t I think of that?” You sighed. “Why I am so shit at being a mom, Bucky? I’m gonna fail.” A sob escaped your lips.

  
“Hey.” Bucky extended his right arm over your shoulders and came to rest his hand on your upper arm. The closeness was unexpected, but his comforting gesture was all you could think about.

  
“You’re a good mom,Y/N.” He said to you. “You’re givin’ that little girl a better chance at life and that in itself is already a success. I know you can do this, you’re a strong, brave, independent woman and once you find your feet, it’s gonna be a walk in the park for ya.” Bucky wondered for a moment whether he had said too much.

  
You shook your head, not very convinced. “I ain’t too sure about that. You’re good at reading people-I mean, that’s pretty much spot on, about me. But finding everything easy, I won’t.”

  
“It’s my job to figure people out.” Bucky said with a light tone to his voice, causing a smile to play on the edge of your lips.

  
“I suppose.” You mused and continued to speak before you had a chance to realise what you said. “But I ain’t strong, Bucky. It’s not even been a week yet and- I- I can’t do this. I’m tired, so tired of trying to juggle everything at once.” The words came out of your mouth so fast before you could stop them. Embarrassed and silently admitting defeat you were unable to hold Bucky’s gaze any longer and looked away from him, your eyes landing on Lily’s bassinet.

  
“Let me help you.” Your breath hitched, your body becoming stiff as you registered what he said.

  
“What?” You said in disbelief, turning your head towards him.

  
“I can help you with Lily, Y/N.” Bucky expanded. “That’s if you want me to.” He added to make himself sound not too forward.

  
You were shocked, to say the least, the last thing you were expecting from him. “Bucky, I… I can’t ask that of you.”

  
“You’re not askin’, I’m offerin’.”

  
“I don’t know what to say.” You breathed, unable to form a response and resorted to messing with the hem of your t-shirt.

  
This man was full of surprises that’s for sure, Bucky had stuck by you as soon as he learnt your story, offered his home to you and now he was offering to look after your daughter. You were overwhelmed, again, by his generosity and his willingness to trust you despite your former connections. Maybe there were some good people left in this world, after all.

  
“I know we don’t know each other very well and I understand if you don’t want me to. But, I’m here, Y/N, if you need me.” Bucky gently squeezed your shoulder, the action encouraged you to accept his offer.

  
For the first time that night a smile formed on your lips. “You’re too kind, you know.” Bucky’s heart warmed at the compliment. “My mom raised me old school. She’d kick my ass if she knew I wasn’t treatin’ a woman right.” Bucky replied with a twinkle in his eye.

  
Now it made sense. Everything.

  
“If you wanna help with her, you can.” You told him, fighting back the emotions in your voice.

  
The thing was that you needed his help, more than you cared to admit and without it, there was an uneasy feeling that you might give in and go running back. That was a last resort, like end of the world last resort and you were going to make sure it wasn’t going to come to that.

  
“Just to let you know, I’ve babysat for Stevie and Peg a couple of times. I won’t be completely hopeless.” He added with a laugh.

  
“I wasn’t gonna say you were.”

  
“It might be worth talking to Peg. She’s a great mom to Willow if you need advice on anythin’.” He suggested.

  
“I think I might.” You nodded, thinking it might be a good idea. 

  
You were tired and after saying goodnight to Bucky, he left your room to allow you to get some sleep before Lily would wake up again. In his room, Bucky slipped under the covers, dragging a hand down his face. He honestly thought he’d overstepped his boundaries tonight with his boldness, which he might add, had no idea where it had come from.

  
Bucky wasn’t as bold as he used to be, he didn’t charm the girls as he used to and there was a very good reason for that. He didn’t go out anymore. Long past were the days where he and Steve would be out in the bars when they were off duty as beat cops, trying to hit on every girl. Bucky wasn’t old by any means either, just short of thirty nor was Steve settling down with Peggy wasn’t why Bucky didn’t go out. Sam would invite him out often for a drink with the other guys from the station and Bucky declined every time. Including when Steve could make it, but with the baby, that made it difficult. Sam would always tease him about getting back in the game, but Bucky didn’t want to. Not after that night. Being completely honest with himself, he’d rather drink alone in his apartment.

  
Time was a funny thing, well life was, Bucky had many hurdles thrown at him during his time on Earth and most he’d successfully jumped over. A few he hasn’t and they were his demons. He didn’t consider you Lily as a hurdle though, despite never finding himself in the kind of situation he was in now. Everything happens for a reason and it was something Bucky lived by You were fate, telling him not to give up on what he wanted in life and Bucky was going to make sure he found it no matter how long it would take him.

* * *

“You let her go?!”

  
“Don’t you worry about her. That girl has never lived without this family. It’ll be only a matter of time before she comes grovelling back to us.”

  
“I don’t give a fuck! She knows too much, too fuckin’ much. And you’ve allowed her to run away, again.”

  
“Calm down.”

  
“She can go to the fuckin’ feds, Vivian. And I don’t wanna have to deal with that along with everythin’ else I got going on.”

  
“She won’t go to the feds. You own the police in this city. And we’re dead if we show our faces in others. She’ll be hiding out in some shack off the beaten track somewhere.”

  
Brock was fuming and Vivian appeared extremely laid back despite the situation she had gotten the Family into.

  
“You cannot guarantee that.” He huffed, pointing a finger at Vivian. “And I ain’t got time to be playin’ your silly little games.”

  
“Oh please, with her gone, we can get things moving quicker. Trust me, you’ll be thanking me for this.” Vivian crossed her arms.

  
“She’s your daughter.”

  
Vivian gave him a cold stare. “Not to the Family.”

  
Brock rolled his eyes. “Fuck sake Viv, why do ya go an’ complicate things.”

  
“To keep you on ya toes, darling.” Without another word, she promptly left his office, leaving Brock a bit dumbfounded. That woman never ceased to amaze him sometimes, especially the older she got.

  
“Rollins!” Brock shouted, grabbing a bottle of whiskey and a glass.

  
Vivian might not share his views, but Brock was still the boss and Y/N was a liability out there. He was left with one choice.

  
The underboss entered the room. “Boss?” Rollins questioned.

  
“I need you to find someone.”


	5. We Do What We Must

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Some mentions and descriptions of murder in this one and a little angst.
> 
> This one is a little long but we get a feel of how the reader contributed to the mob

A month passed extremely fast and living with Bucky had gotten a lot easier since the talk you had with him. The awkwardness of the new living arrangements quickly faded, with you not used to living in an apartment compared to the big house in Philadelphia and Bucky unfamiliarity of living with a stranger and a baby. Bucky worked five to six days a week depending on how busy his unit was with ongoing cases and Tony was fully sympathetic with him living with Lily, so he sometimes allowed Bucky to go home early, much to Sam’s displeasure. It was all friendly banter, really, Steve had the same privilege with Willow and even know Tony still lets him go before the end of his working day.

  
Mornings were Bucky’s favourite part of the day, he was usually the first one up in the apartment and after going through his usual morning routine, he got started on breakfast for you and him. About fifteen minutes later, you appeared walking into the apartment with your hair in a messy bun, still in your pyjamas with Lily in your arms. He grew to love the sight, smiling brightly at you every morning and your beaming grin in return is really what made his whole day. After settling Lily, you’d both sit down to eat, a conversation to be had before Bucky needed to get to work. And if that wasn’t enough for him, you always wished him a good day at work, yeah, Bucky could say he was definitely happy at the minute.

  
His co-workers had picked up his good mood too, Bucky could be gloomy when he wanted to be especially if he was having a bad day or struggling with his mental health. It was Steve who saw a change in his best friend, and he had no doubts it had something to do with you. Steve had his opinions, and for the meantime he kept them to himself, not wanting to cause an upset in Bucky’s current happiness but he would confront his friend eventually. The rest were enjoying Bucky’s upbeat mood, he was always a lot easier to work with and less confrontational when it came to making decisions.

  
You, on the other hand, was living in a completely different world from what you had been used to. Gone were all your expensive clothes, makeup and extravagant lifestyle. No longer did you have access to an endless amount of money, a makeup artist or your personal stylist who made sure all your clothes were tailored to perfection. Sure, they were the perks of living with money and it was something you made sure you took full advantage of; however, your family was a different story.

  
Throughout this time you got to know Bucky through the evenings you spent with him. The first thing you noticed was he was a workaholic, married to his job and you often caught him sitting at the kitchen table after dinner with his laptop and notes out, although he didn’t work endlessly every night. And when he did spend his time with you, you chatted about everything and anything in life. You learned his favourite films were Sci-Fi, he loved Thai food and his favourite colour was blue, which funnily enough was your favourite colour too.

  
Bucky told you a little bit about his career, how he joined the force with Steve when they were both twenty years old and he’d spent four years as an officer before completing his training to become a detective and transferring to the division he was in presently. He’d been a detective for almost three years now. The discussion didn’t get much more personal than that, but you revealed things about yourself too, describing the places you’d been around the world when you had finished high school. You’d taken a gap year before college, a course you, unfortunately, weren’t allowed to finish when your father passed away and you were roped into the mob’s business. Bucky didn’t further questions about that, he knew you were trying to get away from it, but you suspected he wanted to know more.

  
You learned he was honest, Bucky openly told you he had a loaded weapon stored in the apartment, in the drawer in his bedside table and under no circumstance were you to go in there unless it was an emergency. It calmed your nerves knowing there was some way of protecting yourself should the situation ever arise, you hoped it wouldn’t while you and Lily stayed with him.

  
Bucky had been amazing with her too, helping wherever he could, whether it was feeding her, changing her and generally spending time with her. He’d picked it up fairly quickly as he had a bit of experience with Willow. It took a load off you knowing Lily was in capable hands, besides it hadn’t taken a lot to trust the man, he just gave off that vibe.

  
All in all, Bucky was a fun and friendly guy to be around. And you found yourself growing fonder of him.

  
Today, however, you were heading with Bucky to the station to give a statement to the FBI who were meeting you there. To say you were nervous was an understatement, the worry of them wanting to detain you, to tear you away from Lily was something you couldn’t bear happening. Bucky had assured you that wouldn’t happen, but it was still a lingering thought. At the station, Bucky quickly got you signed in by the same young man as last time and you learned his first name was Peter. He gushed over Lily who was sleeping soundly in the stroller when you went through the security door with Bucky.

  
The department seemed quiet as you entered the large room, a lot of the desks were unoccupied, and Bucky informed you most of the officers who weren’t on a case were out on their morning patrols. He guided you to his own desk and gestured you to sit on the swivel chair once you had put the brake on the stroller, he noticed the nervousness across your face as you glanced around the place. You watched as Bucky crouched in front of you, gently taking one of your hands in his. The feeling of his warm skin immediately sent a comforting motion through you.

  
“Hey Y/N, everything’s gonna be alright.” He assured, looking directly into your eyes.

  
“What if they want me?” You asked, keeping your voice low.

  
Bucky shook his head. “They won’t. Just promise me one thing, if you don’t feel comfortable at all during any of it, you tell them, okay? You’re allowed to have a break whenever you want.”

  
“Okay.” You gave a tiny nod of your head and a small smile. “You gonna be okay with her?”

  
“I think we’ll be just fine.” He glanced sideways towards the stroller.

  
“She’s been fed and changed, all her stuff is in the bag if you need anything, Bucky. Maybe give her the plush tiger toy if she wakes up. She likes that one. Oh, and if she gets cold, I brought her hat and gloves, but it’s pretty warm in here-” You stopped talking when you felt Bucky squeeze your hand and realised you had been rambling on.

  
“I’ve got it.” He smiled warmly.

  
“Sorry, I’m just panicking a little I guess.” You sighed. “It’s just leaving her…” You trailed off, looking away from Bucky’s steel-blue eyes.

  
It was going to be the first time you were going to be apart from your daughter, even if it was for a little while. In the apartment you were always in the same room as her apart from when you went to the bathroom, even then you made sure you were quick as you could be to be with Lily again. God, you should’ve put more thought into this.

  
“Sweetheart, I ain’t lettin’ her outta my sight.” Your head lifted at the sweet and endearing pet name he had for you.

  
“I know you won’t. I trust you.” You hadn’t trusted anyone for a long time, it felt strange saying those words again.

  
“Besides, you’ve gotta start ‘em young, am I right?” Bucky teased lightly.

  
“Especially when she’s got the best detective in the department to learn from.” You added.

  
He beamed at the compliment, putting a hand over his chest. “Aww sweetheart, I’m flattered.”

  
“Don’t be putting ideas like that into his head. He won’t shut up about it for weeks.” Steve’s voice sounded and you both looked over to see him approach.

  
“You’re a punk.” Bucky told him, letting go of your hand.

  
“Someone’s gotta be to keep your ass in line, jerk.” Steve countered almost instantly with a smirk.

  
Bucky glanced back at you. “Don’t listen to him.”

  
“What? Afraid I’m gonna give her the wrong impression of you?” Steve’s sly smirk to a very annoyed Bucky only grew bigger until he turned his attention to you. “He’s a trouble-maker this one.” He said with a wink.

  
“Steve.” Bucky growled with a low rumble to his voice, giving his friend a hard glare, unamused by his antics.

  
Steve caught on immediately. “Nah, I’m only kiddin’. Bucky’s a great guy, I’m sure he’s treatin’ you well.”

  
“Yeah, he is.” You agreed.

  
“Which part?” Bucky asked.

  
“Both.” The edge of your lips curved upwards as you glanced at him.

  
Bucky’s eyes twinkled in response, in fact, his whole face lit up and it made him wonderfully attractive. You weren’t blind, he was a good looking, handsome guy. Enamelled by the sun, his perfect complexion complimented the dark colour to his hair, the radiance shone off him in waves. Not to mention those prominent cheekbones and that jawline of such sharp contours, looking as if it was sculpted to perfection by a master craftsman. It was easy to get lost in those shimmering liquid pools of blue from time to time, like now.

  
“Ain’t I always the gentleman, Stevie?” Bucky said boldly, lifting his chin with pride.

  
Steve laughed and shook his head in amusement. “If you say so, pal.” He took a look at Lily who was still sleeping soundly in the stroller. “How’s the little one doing?” Steve asked, changing the subject.

  
“Good.” You told him with pride in your voice, standing up. “She’s still sleeping a lot, but when she’s awake, my God, she’s fussy.”

  
“Willow was too. Actually, she still is.”

  
“Bucky’s been a great help too.”

  
“Hey, Y/N!” Tony Stark’s loud voice gained your attention, noticing him walking towards your trio and you missed the look Steve gave Bucky at your words.

  
“Tony.” You acknowledged.

  
“Good to see the two of you looking well.” He complimented, quickly looking down at Lily and you thanked him. “Listen, I’d love to talk with you more, but they’re ready for you upstairs.”

  
You nodded, feeling a bout of nerves. “Okay.”

  
“Rogers can you get everyone rounded up? We’re having a small departmental meeting after I’ve taken Y/N to the agents upstairs.”

  
Steve nodded. “I will.”

  
Almost instinctively you met Bucky’s gaze, giving you an encouraging smile and nod, it was enough to settle your nerves and pluck up the courage to go do what you were about to, spill your family’s secrets. Without further ado Tony led you away from them, asking about how you had been settling in at Bucky’s place while he headed towards the elevator.

* * *

The FBI agents turned out to be nice people, Clint Barton was the agent in charge of your case with his partner, Wanda Maximoff. The statement was being made in one of the interrogation room where you had privacy, they assured you that security cameras were recording but it was only for their reference along with the voice recorder. After they made sure you were comfortable and settled, they told you to begin and asked to tell them everything.

  
So you did.

  
You gave them everything, every single member of the Crime Family you knew and their rank from the Boss to the soldiers and the associates who worked for Brock. The information you provided was a little different from what the FBI already had, and you clarified the reasoning for that was simply because those members had been killed. When asked, you explained that one of the Capos had decided to try and go to the feds with the hope of trying to get out of the world of organised crime. However, he had been sloppy, Brock had his men find out who had tried to betray him and as a result, he had been executed.

  
“Have you seen anyone commit a murder?” Agent Barton questioned.

  
You nodded. “Yes. Several. Brock, he used me to meet people. If he wanted to take someone out, he sent me in to meet with them first, so it didn’t look like they were gonna get whacked. One time, I met a guy in this old oil refinery, he knew I was involved with the Mafia and thought I was just some sort of hired gun. He thought I was meeting to take the money he owed the mob, but Brock was already there. All I had to do was get him into position and Brock and his men swarmed him. Brock came right up behind him and shot him point-blank in the head in seconds. Turned out he’d paid him back in full, with interest.” Agent Barton nodded.

  
It hadn’t been the only murder you had witnessed and went onto explain a few more and the people involved both the victims and the offenders. Once you had seen Brock forcibly fed someone to a dumpster truck, set it going and all you could hear were the muffled sounds of his frightening screams. Then they’d stopped and all you could hear was the crude sound of his bones crushing and the pop of his skull going. Brock had a temper and boy was he dangerous if you were ever caught on the wrong side of him.   
You went on to explain what dealings Brock had which included the usual weapon trafficking, drug smuggling, racketeering, kidnappings, extortion, fraud and invasion of legitimate businesses.

  
“Do you know of any of the businesses?” Agent Barton asked.

  
“I do.” You named a few but told them that there were more but you didn’t know the names. They seemed satisfied with that.

  
Next, you got onto the topic of safehouses and locations finding it was becoming a lot easier to provide the information that you originally thought. You gave up every single safehouse Brock and his men used, every location he used to store drugs, weapons and god knows what else. Again, you knew there were more, but you didn’t have that information because you hadn’t been to those locations. The agents were impressed you had managed to remember all the places and you explained that you had put a tracking device into your phone to monitor your movements in case you should ever find yourself in a situation like this. It had always been your plan to get out of the life you had been living.

  
They seemed satisfied with the information you had given them and the first-hand account of the crimes you had witnessed. Agent Barton told you that they could start monitoring the Crime Family and you warned them about Brock having an influence over the police in the area, it was why that Capo had been killed. It would take time to gather the evidence they needed to make prosecutions, and, in the meantime, they would ensure your safety by placing you in the Witness Protection Program.  
Agent Maximoff took the reins on this one.

  
“So, you and your daughter will go under a completely different name and we’ll make sure we place you a suitable location to ease the transition. We’ll provide you with employment history, credit reports, new bank accounts, a new social security number to help you find work and settle into a normal life.” She explained to you.

  
“Where will we be moved to?”

  
“Pittsburgh. You need to be somewhere where Brock has no business in.” Your heart dropped at the news, you had hoped to stay in the city or the vicinity at least. And no, it wasn’t because of a certain police detective.

  
“Oh, okay.” You weren’t sure if you sounded disappointed or not. Neither agents flinched at your response.

  
“You’ll have a Witness Inspector assigned to you too. They’ll be your point of contact in the case.” You nodded. “To clarify, once you enter the program you will not be allowed any contact with your family or friends. It’s a clean slate, meaning you will be a new person. Secondly. any information you have given me and my colleague or we have passed onto you must not leave this room. We need you to sign a few things to after we’ve finished this.”

  
It was a lot to take in and to be fair a lot more than you expected. You’ve resented your family all your life but were you fully prepared to cut them off for good, to start anew? An image of Lily flashed through your mind and was reminded that you were doing all this for her.

* * *

Bucky thought the meeting with the FBI agents was taking forever and his thoughts quickly drifted to you. He hoped you were doing okay with them, knowing how pushy FBI could be sometimes to get information out of people, you were willing though, so with any luck, they would take it easy with you. Tony’s voice was droning on in the background, but Bucky wasn’t really listening to a word his superior was saying, paying more attention to the little bundle of joy he had in his arms.

  
“Barnes!” Tony’s shrill voice had Bucky whip his head up, Lily moved in his hold but she didn’t wake up. “Pay attention, this concerns you.”

  
Bucky’s ears immediately pricked up, wondering what Tony had to say.

  
“As I was saying. James Rhodes’ transfer has been successful, and he’ll be joining a new division in Queens. Now, after many meetings with the Superintendent, we’ve decided to promote a detective from this unit. It’s unofficial for now but I’m pleased to announce Detective Rogers will be our new Sergeant.” 

  
Bucky quickly looked across at Steve as everyone started to clap and he looked extremely happy. He knew, the bastard knew and didn’t tell his best friend, Steve wouldn’t hear the end of this from Bucky. Nonetheless, Bucky was made up for him, Steve had put in the work in the unit over the past couple of years and he deserved this promotion. They kept the clapping and noise to a minimum due to Lily being in the room, but Tony had a few more things to say.

  
“Movin’ on. Rogers was your partner, Barnes, I’ve done a little reshuffling. When everything officiates, Wilson you’re getting reassigned with Barnes and Romanoff you’re getting reassigned with Maximoff. Everyone okay with that? Well, it ain’t like you have a choice.” Tony laughed.

  
Bucky was expecting to have a new partner assigned to him after the announcement the Captain had just made, and he didn’t mind being Sam’s new partner. With the rest of the people in the room, he nodded his head, not that anyone would disagree with Tony. He was well respected within the unit, made good decisions and treated everyone fairly. But Bucky was still a little disappointed that his days working with Steve were numbered, they’d been partners for as long as he could remember.  
Without further ado, Tony dismissed everyone, and Bucky made a beeline straight to Steve before anyone else could, how he performed such a feat with a baby in one arm he didn’t know.

  
“You punk.” Bucky gave him a friendly glare and Steve held up his hands.

  
“Sorry pal. I wasn’t allowed to say anything. If I was, you know I woulda told ya first.”

  
“Hey man, listen, I’m real happy for ya.” Bucky grinned. “You deserve it.” He placed a hand on the other man’s shoulder.

  
“Thanks, man. How about me, Peg and Willow come over tomorrow to celebrate?” Steve suggested.

  
“Sure.” Bucky nodded. “I’ll have to ask Y/N too, but I think she’ll be okay with it.”

  
“Okay then.”

  
Someone calling Steve’s name drew him away, leaving Bucky with Lily, he glanced down at her tiny face.

  
“C’mon little one. Let’s teach ya how to type up some boring reports. How does that sound?”

* * *

Stepping through the threshold into the office you stopped dead in your tracks when you saw the scene before you. Bucky had Lily cradled in one arm, she was awake and had a hold of Bucky’s pinky finger while he was busy smiling down at her squirming around. He loved her, you know he did, and it was going to break his heart when you told him the FBI wanted to move you out of the city. He looked so at home with her, a natural and honestly you didn’t trust anyone else apart from him to be alone with your daughter. You didn’t know how you were going to manage by yourself.

  
Stepping forward you approached Bucky who glanced up when he saw you, still wearing that same smile.

  
“How’s it going?” He asked, getting up out of his chair and placed Lily back in the stroller.

  
“All done.” You said brightly and Bucky’s eyebrows shot up.

  
“C’mere.” Bucky invited you in for a hug which you did without a second thought. “I’m proud of ya, Y/N.”

  
You smiled, relishing in his warm embrace before you both broke apart. “It was easier than I thought. How’s Lily been?”

  
“She’s been a little angel. Been in her very first meeting and helped me type up some reports.” Bucky said proudly.

  
“A meeting?”

  
Bucky told you about Steve’s promotion and that he, Peggy and Willow were going to come over to Bucky’s place tomorrow night. You agreed it was a good idea too, it would be nice to see Peggy again too.

  
“Listen, Bucky I’ve got something to tell you.” You said in a less than enthusiastic tone. “I won’t be staying with you much longer. The FBI want to move me out of the city.”

  
Bucky tried to hide it, but his face dropped in disappointment. “Where?”

  
“I… I can’t say. All I can tell you is that they’ll ring twenty fours hours before.”

  
The tension in the air suddenly became thick as neither of you knew what to say, living with Bucky for the past month made you forgot that this living arrangement was only temporary, it wasn’t going to last forever. You wanted it to, as selfish as that might sound but after saying those words out loud and making everything sound so real did you realise that you were falling for him. Now, with the prospect of you leaving the city, it was going to change everything you and Bucky had built and it was something that you wasn’t ready for.

  
Somehow, you’d managed to get lost in your own fairy-tale and had only been brought back to reality when you were sat in that interrogation room. That you were a witness to numerous murders, and in your belief, had played a part in them too because of your misdirection to those people Brock had intentions of murdering. Most importantly, you were a member of the Mafia and that was never going to change. You could only dream that someone like Bucky would want you with the past you had.


	6. The Small Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little family fluff for you all
> 
> Thanks for over 1000 hits and 50 kudos! I honestly didn't expect much from this!

Having Steve and Peggy round for dinner was a breath of fresh air, the mood was somewhat sombre in the apartment since you told Bucky you’d be moving out. When he smiled, it quite didn’t reach his eyes, and speaking of, they didn’t have that usual gleam to them. The news of you leaving the city had hit him hard, leaving you wondering why but you didn’t want to pry and ask him. You both knew the living arrangements were always going to be temporary, after all, you couldn’t expect a man you’d just met to commit to helping you look after your child.

  
Now, spirits were high as everyone was gathered around the dinner table eagerly tucking into the food you made earlier that day and when Bucky came back, he didn’t hesitate to help you. The couple had arrived just on time as you and Bucky were setting the table with friendly smiles and a very excitable eleven-month-old. Peggy had Willow sat on her lap, helping her to eat her dinner, with advice from Peggy you had cooked Willow some fish and boiled vegetables while making chicken fajitas for everyone else.

  
“This is delicious. Thanks, Y/N.” Steve praised the spread of food on the table.

  
“A little bird told me you loved fajitas.” You shrugged.

  
“Oh, they did now?” Steve gave his wife a questioning sideways glance.

  
“Don’t look at me. I only told her what to make for Willow.” Peggy said.

  
“Actually, that was me.” Bucky piped up if not a bit sheepishly.

  
“Shoulda known.” Steve grinned. “Honestly guys, this is amazing and what better way to celebrate with family and friends.” You couldn’t agree more with him, quickly burying the sharp pang of sadness.

  
Bucky must’ve noticed and you felt him gently nudge your leg under the table, causing you to look at him.

  
“You okay?” He whispered.

  
“Yeah.” You said quietly with a small smile.

  
Lily stirred from where you had finally managed to get her to sleep earlier before Bucky walked through the door, diverting your attention from Bucky to her.

  
“She’s only been down an hour.” You commented, trying to keep the tiredness out of your voice.

  
“I’ll get her.” Before you could protest Bucky was up and out of his seat, heading over to Lily in the bassinet.

  
“She’s due a feed.” You watched him bend over and scoop her up, his face instantly brightening like it always did as he held the baby in his arms.

  
“Hi little one.” Bucky babbled. “Missed me, huh?” Lily wriggled a little in his grasp and he started swaying her as he walked over to the kitchen. “There any bottles in the fridge?” He asked on his way.

  
“Um, yeah.” You twisted in your seat as he opened the door. “Third shelf I think.”

  
“Yeah, got it.”

  
Shutting it, Bucky juggled the task of getting the top off the bottle and the baby much to your amusement, but he eventually did, offering the bottle to Lily who started suckling on it. Bucky came back to the table and sat himself down with a content baby, in her element now that she was feeding.

  
“Uhh-ee!” Willow squealed and suddenly started squirming in Pepper’s lap.

  
Pepper and Steve looked at one another in disbelief.

  
“Did she try to say Bucky?” Steve turned to Peggy.

  
“I think she did.” Peggy smiled down at Willow and repositioned her. “Can you say ‘Buh’ sweetie?”

  
Willow giggled and babbled as her parents tried to encourage her to speak, watching them being at that phase with their daughter made you eager to be at it with Lily. But as Peggy had told you before, time flies once you have a child to look after and you’ll soon be wishing they were small again. Would it fly for you though? Peggy had a family, you didn’t and once you were relocated it would be you and her. You didn’t even know if Bucky would be allowed to know where you live.

  
“Y/N?” Bucky’s deep voice interrupted your thoughts. “Where’d you go?”

  
“Oh sorry.” You quickly snapped back to the present. “Just thinking.”

  
“She’s finished.”

  
“Want me to take her?” Bucky nodded and passed her to you.

  
“I’ll get the burping cloth.” You shot him an appreciative look as he stood up, placing the almost empty bottle on the counter and stepped over to the other side to grab a cloth.

  
He placed the cloth on your shoulder, giving it a small squeeze and his actions sent a warm feeling flow through you. You moved Lily to your shoulder to see if the infant had any air trapped while Bucky remained standing.

  
“Everyone’s finished, right?” He asked everyone and was met with a chorus of ‘yes’s’ and Bucky started to clear the table.

  
“Let me help ya.” Steve said as he pushed his chair out.

  
Bucky wasn’t even going to stop Steve from helping him, not because Bucky was impolite he was far from it, but because he and Steve had argued on many occasions when it came to cleaning up after inviting each other over for dinner. Every single time both insisted on helping the other so it was tradition nowadays, something which Bucky cherished about his friendship with Steve.

  
Since the boys had the dishes handled, you and Peggy moved things to the living area of the apartment and as soon as Willow was placed on the floor she was quickly crawling about. Peggy started showing you the latest baby toys available from a website she was subscribed to online, picking out which ones were Willow’s favourites and went onto how they sold other baby items. Despite you trying to sound enthusiastic about the prospect of buying things for your little one, your mind wandered, back to Bucky and back to leaving. When Peggy was busy swiping through the pages on her phone you kept stealing glances at him, watching him dry the plates Steve was passing him. They were talking quietly, a serious conversation by the looks of it, probably about work. 

  
Still, you asked Peggy to send the website to you, thinking of ordering a few things from it once you got to Pittsburgh. You ended up passing Lily over to Peggy who began fussing over her and you both fell into conversation about her routines, the similarities and differences between hers and Willows.

  
Meanwhile, Steve was taking his time with washing the dishes, making small talk about boring aspects of work and Bucky knew his friend was up to something.

  
“Quit stallin’ and ask me what you wanna ask me woulda ya?” Bucky growled quietly.

  
Steve faltered for a moment and gave a small sigh.

  
“Any news yet about when Y/N is going?” Steve asked and Bucky had a feeling that wasn’t what he was planning to ask, but Bucky didn’t push it, instead, he shook his head.  
“No. They’ll tell us twenty-four hours before.” Bucky tried to keep the disappointment out of his voice.

  
“It’s gotta be better than them just showing up, right?”

  
“I suppose.” Bucky agreed tentatively, setting the plate down on the counter. “Be better if they didn’t show up at all.” He glanced across at him and made no effort to hide his emotions, Bucky knew Steve knew.

  
“You really like her, don’t you?”

  
Bucky sighed, tipping his head downwards and placing his hands on the edge of the counter before looking across at Steve with a forlorn expression.

  
“Yeah, I do.” He smiled sadly and dropped his gaze.

  
Steve dried his hands on the spare towel and took a step closer to his friend.

  
“Oh, Buck.” His arm went around Bucky’s shoulders. “I’m sorry.”

  
“Don’t be.” He shook his head. “It wasn’t be meant to be. Never is.”

  
Steve squeezed his shoulder to comfort him, he knew what Bucky was referring to and could see he was fighting back the tears that threatened to fall.

  
“You didn’t deserve to go through what you did. Nobody does. But I’m damn proud of you, Buck. It takes a lotta strength to come back from somethin’ like that. And you did. You did.” Despite Steve’s small motivational speech, his mood didn’t improve much. “I almost didn’t, Stevie.”

  
Steve squeezed his shoulder. “And if you hadn’t, look at the number of cases we’ve cracked, people’s lives we’ve saved. I couldn’t have done that without _you_, Buck. All because you pulled through.” Steve continued dropping his hand.

  
“Not without your help, though.” Bucky credited. “I know you keep tellin’ me to get back in the game, but the thing is, God this is gonna sound stupid. With Y/N, we kinda just clicked you know? And I thought maybe somethin’ good could come from it.” He shrugged.

  
Steve gave Bucky a sympathetic look and he was about to open his to speak when he heard Willow call for him. Steve looked over Bucky’s shoulder and Bucky followed his gaze to the girls sitting on the sofa with Willow climbing all over it, standing up and holding onto the backrest. Bucky didn’t miss the way Steve’s face lit up as he saw his daughter. You and Peggy were watching Willow with beaming smiles and your eyes met Bucky’s, still smiling and if it wasn’t the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

  
“Da-da.” She babbled with a giggle.

  
“Da-da’s watching, Pumpkin.”

  
Willow turned away from her mother, looking at Steve again before she fell back with another giggle, into Peggy’s lap obviously however Steve pretending to be shocked. He gasped loud enough so Willow would be able to hear. 

  
“Where did she go?” Steve pondered in amazement, exaggerating his words while moving away from Bucky and towards the table.

  
“Is she under here?” He asked out loud, crouching to see under it. “Nope, not under there.” He stood up and faced Bucky. “Did you see where she went?”

  
Bucky folded his arms and shook his head. “Can’t say I have, Steve.” He replied, joining in on the fun and it was met by a suspicious giggle coming from the sofa.

  
Steve stood in the middle of the apartment, rubbing the scruff on his chin. “She’s gotta be somewhere.”

  
Willow giggled louder this time and suddenly sprang up from behind the backrest laughing and smiling

.  
“There she is!” Steve exclaimed before realising he spoke a little loudly and shot you a quick apologetic look in case he’d accidentally woke Lily.

  
You waved him off with a smile just as Steve lifted his little girl up in his arms, full of giggles and cute smiles, electrifying the atmosphere in the room. Lily squirmed in your arms from not being paid any attention and you quickly rectified that by lifting her up onto your shoulder so she could see what was going on too.

  
Happiness surged through your body with everything that was going on around you, surrounded by people who valued the meaning of family, whether blood-related or not. To be apart of it was something you never thought you’d be able to have and despite your pending departure, you were going to make sure every second was enjoyed. You saw Bucky head towards you, still wearing a soft smile as Steve put Willow down and she pointed to her toys in the area in front of the sofa.

  
Steve helped Willow walk towards her toys while Bucky came around the other side of the sofa and took a seat beside you, immediately giving all his attention to Lily who tried to reach out to him.

  
“I think she wants you.” You said to him with a smile.

  
“Pass that little Jellybean here.” His grin was just as wide as you gave her to him.

  
Hearing him use your pet name for Lily almost caused you to choke up, not sure where the emotions had unexpectedly appeared from. It wasn’t the first time you heard him call her that. Bucky held Lily in the opposite arm to where you were sitting next to him, making you want to lean into his side and rest your head underneath his chin. Perhaps if Steve and Peggy weren’t there then you might’ve done. For now, you didn’t.

  
“I swear that kid never runs out of energy.” Bucky commented on Willow and Steve sat on the floor.

  
“Give it half an hour and she will.” Steve laughed. “It’s already late.”

* * *

After almost half an hour of non-stop play with her father, Willow started yawning her movements slowing down until she crawled into Steve's arms. Lily had fallen asleep on Bucky too, while he, you and Peggy had spoken on the sofa, they decided to call it a night and get Willow back to their place and into bed. Bucky passed you Lily to help Peggy collect Willow’s toys together while Steve got Willow into the car carrier.

  
Meanwhile, you slipped to your room to put Lily to bed, hopefully with no tantrums. You changed her into another one-piece sleeper before settling her into the crib. You wanted to stay there and watch her, but you needed to see Steve and Peggy off, knowing it might be the last time you see them. They both knew about you being moved to Pittsburgh. With one last smile at your beautiful daughter, you headed back into the apartment to see Steve and Peggy picking up their things with Bucky’s help.

  
Their goodbye was cheery enough, so you didn’t dwell on it too much hugging both Steve and Peggy. Bucky was jolly as always when Steve thanked him for having them over, downplaying the thanks and stating they were welcome to come over at any time. He offered his help with carrying their stuff down to the car, but Steve assured him that they would be okay.

  
“I’m gonna get to bed, Bucky.” You told him after he shut the door. “Is that okay?”

  
Bucky gave you a somewhat bewildered look. “You don’t need to ask my permission to go to bed, you know.”

  
You heaved your shoulders. “I know. It’s just, there’s the dishes to put away, the kitchen to clean, the table to wipe down.”

  
Bucky placed his hands on your upper arms to stop you from talking. “How many times do I have to tell you. You don’t need to do anything around here.” There was a small hint of authority in his voice and a lightness to it.

  
“And how many times do I have to tell you.” You mimicked, earning you a smile from him. “I’ll feel bad if I don’t.”

  
“Yes. But you are not doing anything, tonight. Go to bed.”

  
“I was going to anyway.” You replied but not without a cheeky smile.

  
Bucky shook his head in response to your playfulness, before pulling you into a warm hug.

  
“Goodnight Y/N.”

  
“Night Bucky.” You responded and he let you go, watching you cross the apartment to your room.


	7. Overlooked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: More mentions of violence and content about loss so please don't read if this effects you in any way.

The apartment was remarkably quiet when you emerged from your room, carrying Lily who was for the most part still sleepy. Placing her in the bassinet you double-checked the time on your phone, usually, Bucky was up by now, getting ready for work. Maybe he was going in a little later today instead. Anyhow, you turned the television on to tune into the news channel, put some coffee on and decided to make toast for breakfast, going through the motions of the normal morning routine before he woke. Luckily you weren’t as tired this morning when Lily had woken during the night for feeding or changing, she had gone back to sleep quickly, probably because she had spent more time than usual yesterday awake.

  
Your freshly toasted bread popped out of the toaster, so you got the strawberry jam out of the fridge before grabbing the toasted bread. You spread a generous helping of the jam over the two slices and put two more slices in for Bucky when he woke up. Sitting at the counter island eating your breakfast and watching the news, you regularly checked your phone, something you had been doing for the past couple of days now. Waiting for that phone call was torture, one part of you wanted them to call you already and the other didn’t.

  
Hearing movement coming from Bucky’s room, you assumed he was awake, the movements quick and heavy like he was rushing around or something and it sparked your curiosity. When he suddenly emerged from his room, you saw his hair was still dishevelled and his dress shirt not fully buttoned up or tucked into his pants for that matter. He had his tie slung around his neck which hadn’t been tied properly yet and you saw a somewhat panicked expression on his face as he headed over to you.

  
“Morning.” You greeted him, turning around in your seat.

  
“Hey.” He said quickly. “Is there any coffee?”

  
“Yeah. Just made it.”

  
“Thank God.” He breathed. “Can’t believe I forgot to set my alarm.” He grumbled to himself in disbelief, starting to make some.

  
“There’s some toast too.”

  
“No time.” Bucky grabbed the mug and did an odd run back to his room probably so he wouldn’t spill any, you could only shake your head in amusement.

  
With your empty plate and mug sat on the countertop, you got up to put the plate in the sink and to refill your mug with some more coffee. Lily was due a feed so as soon as you made the coffee you would attend to her. However, as you turned back to the coffee machine the news suddenly gained your attention when the anchor mentioned your hometown.

  
“_Well to Philadelphia now where a body has been found a couple of days ago in the Delaware River. Our reporter, Fiona Saunders is at the scene with more information.” _

_  
_The camera cut to the reporter and you recognised the location as one of the parks along the riverside. And uneasy feeling formed in your stomach.

  
“_The news this morning is that police have identified the body found here a few days ago. The cause of death is still being investigated with the autopsy, however, we can confirm that the victim is in fact Peter Quill, a twenty-eight-year-old male from the city.” _

_  
_A picture of Peter popped up on the television screen causing your hand fly towards your mouth in shock and consequently, the mug fell from your other, smashing into several pieces as it hit the tiles. The news reporter was still talking but the noise seemed distant in the background as your whole body felt numb, like time itself had suddenly stopped. Your other hand came to join your other as tears uncontrollably ran down your face, in mourning for the man still pictured on the television.

  
Unable to look at the screen anymore, you buried your head in your hands, a thousand emotions hit you all at once, sadness, grief, guilt and anger.

  
You didn’t acknowledge Bucky come hurrying into the room and seeing the state you were until he started softly saying your name. Looking up you saw him slowly approaching you with an outstretched hand and concern written all over his face, his jaw a little slack and slightly parted lips.

  
“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

  
You squeezed your eyes shut and shook your head, unable to form words to speak a coherent sentence, the words from the news reporter were bouncing around in your head. Opening them you locked eyes with his, stepping over the fragments of the broken mug and saw his lips move but you didn’t register what he said. All your focus was on his bright blue eyes that were drawing nearer and when you were, you collapsed onto his chest.

  
Bucky closed his arms around you as you began to sob which turning his crying on his chest while you utterly broke down, yet again you had played a part in another innocent death. You sunk into his warmth and despite the heaviness in your stomach it fluttered at the feeling of Bucky pressed against you in his tight embrace. You stayed in his arms with no intention of letting go of him and you felt he didn’t want to either, Bucky whispered sweet nothings trying to reassure you that everything was okay.

  
Only it wasn’t.

  
“They killed him!” You wept in his embrace and Bucky only squeezed you tighter.

  
“Did you know him?” He asked gently.

  
You nodded against his clothes.

  
“Oh sweetheart, I’m sorry.”

  
You didn’t say anything else, but a million questions were running through Bucky’s mind and no matter how badly he wanted to ask him, now wasn’t the right time. All he could do for now was hold and comfort you while you dealt with the initial news of losing someone you knew. Something he was far too familiar with. He rested his cheek on the top of your head to try and bury the rush of emotion he was feeling too.

  
It was painful to see you like this and all Bucky could do was let the torrent of your tears soak through his shirt. He ran his fingers through your hair repeatedly, letting you know that he wasn’t going anywhere, work could wait. You were far more important to him, more than he’d like to admit but it was true nonetheless.

  
The annoying drawl of the news anchor started to irritate Bucky, he parted from you slightly so he could grab the remote that was on the counter island where you’d left it and muted the sound.

  
“She’s never gonna meet him.” You mumbled as he went back to holding you.

  
“Look at me, Y/N.” And you did, prying your arms away from him. “Do you think you can tell me what you meant by ‘they’ when you said ‘they killed him’?” It was a big ask and Bucky knew, but he needed to know to confirm a gut feeling he had.

  
You nodded slowly in agreement, despite worrying that what you were about to say was going to make or break your friendship with him, you hoped it wouldn’t be the latter.

  
“It’s Brock.” You sniffled. “I know he sent his guys to kill him.”

  
“The mob don’t usually dispose of bodies like that. Are you sure?” Bucky asked rationally.

  
You shot him a hard look and Bucky winced slightly, silently cursing himself for dropping into his questioning attitude.

  
“Yes.” You replied harshly, taking a small step back from him. “What, you don’t believe me?”

  
“No, I do. I do.” He countered softly. “Sorry, I didn’t mean for it come out that way. The detective side of me is kickin’ in is all. Sometimes I can’t help it.”

  
Bucky looked extremely apologetic and let’s be honest, how could you stay mad at him after everything he had done for you. You’d overreacted, big time, over something that wasn’t worth the effort to even overreact to.

  
“Brock had a reason to kill him.” You told him, sadly.

  
“Is he an associate? An enemy?”

  
You shook your head. “They didn’t know each other.” A lump formed in your throat and tears were threatening to spill over again.

  
Bucky immediately saw and closed the distance between you two, wrapping you up in yet another hug. His close presence was a comfort to you, feeling the world melt around you, not wanting the moment to end. You needed to tell him what you knew so with a heavy sigh you pulled away from him.

  
“My family always wanted me to marry into the mob. I didn’t and acted out, slept around but only with good people to piss my Mom off. And Peter, he’s one of the guys I slept with.” There was a pause to gather the last of your courage. “Pete he’s… he’s Lily father.”

  
Unstoppable tears streamed down your face as you looked away from Bucky concerned features, not after clearly lying to him before about knowing who the baby’s father was.  
You looked anywhere but him, wrapping your arms across your body in anticipation of his reaction. His uncharacteristic silence worried you, Bucky wasn’t someone to not have something to say in almost any conversation, at least with you anyway.

  
Then it hit you, well and truly hit you that Lily would never meet her father, and everything came crashing down. Numbness and uncertainty flooded your entire body and while Bucky was strangely keeping his distance from you, it was him you needed right now, willing him to come closer to you. To hold you, to help you feel whole and human because now you weren’t feeling anything, and it scared you.

  
“Y/N, I-” Bucky incapability of forming a sentence wasn’t exactly reassuring.

  
Instead, he slowly reached out and brushed his fingertips against the back of your hand and you let him gently pry it from your body.

  
“There’s more.” You managed to choke out, lifting your eyes to meet his. “He helped me deliver her, you know. He and his girlfriend.” You let out a breath and continued. “Pete got with Gamora shortly after we slept together. Told him about Lily after they got together and surprisingly, she was pretty cool with it. Didn’t have feelings for him anyway but I offered him a choice whether he wanted to be apart of Lily’s upbringing. Said he wanted to if it was possible with me going to the feds and I promised that one day when she was older, she’d meet him.”

  
Bucky squeezed your hand in response. “If there’s anything I can do, sweetheart. Please tell me.”

  
Your mouth formed a weak smile just as Lily started crying, immediately gaining your attention and you turned around to face the bassinet, not letting go of his hand.

  
“I’ve gotta feed her.” You said to him, turning back around.

  
Bucky nodded, realising your hand to allow you to attend to your daughter. Picking her up out of the bassinet, you bounced her a little spinning on the spot to see Bucky already getting a bottle from the fridge. He really was an angel. You shot him an appreciative look and thanked him when you took the bottle and offered it to Lily who started suckling on it straight away.

  
Looking back up you saw Bucky take the tie from around his neck but instead of beginning to tie it, he simply dumped it onto the counter and unfasten a few of his top buttons.

  
“What are you doing?” You asked, his actions piquing your curiosity.

  
“Not goin’ to work.” He told you.

  
“Bucky.” You protested. “You have to go to work.”

  
“Not after this.” He shook his head. “You shouldn’t be alone.”

  
“I’ll be okay.” You assured but Bucky wasn’t convinced.

  
“Are you sure?”

  
“Yeah. I just need some time… to process everything.” You started watching Lily feed.

  
Bucky stepped forward and placed a hand on your shoulder and after a moment or two, he spoke.

  
“I’ll check in with you. Every hour.” He told you definitively, removing his hand and you looked up to see him start to fasten the top buttons again.

  
“That’s fine with me.” You said in agreement.

  
Bucky took his tie off the counter and tied it while Lily decided she had enough milk, losing interest in the bottle. Noticing that, he grabbed a cloth from the pile and glanced over at you.

  
“Want me to?”

  
A nod from you had him stepping forward to take Lily off your hands, placing her on his left shoulder as always over his heart. It was a regular baby feeding routine between the two of you nowadays, Bucky liked to get involved with Lily as much as possible, more so since your talk with the FBI.

  
Lily wasn’t in a burping mood it seemed and soon Bucky was handing her back to you, throwing the cloth from his shoulder to the floor in front of the washing machine. He was extremely late for work now, but Tony was a good boss, he’d understand when Bucky would explain. With your permission of course. He ran around the apartment, gathering his belongings together for work and you saw him off with a quick hug and suddenly the apartment seemed extremely empty.

* * *

As promised Bucky called every hour making sure you were okay and told you that he would come back immediately if you needed him. You assured him you didn’t. The death of Peter shook you up more than what it should’ve initially, yet you didn’t want Bucky thinking you were some helpless woman because you weren’t. Sure, he always vocalised his admiration of how independent you were and your mental robustness in the world, but at the end of the day, everyone was different when they were grieving a death.

  
The thing is, you hadn’t spoken to Peter since the birth, not that you could anyway and so you tried to remain strong for as long as you could. You always considered yourself lucky in the situation you found yourself in with your daughter. Not every man would want something to do with the girl he got pregnant on a one-night stand, let alone have a go at co-parenting like you and him were planning to do. Even more so with a girlfriend in the works, Gamora was an understanding woman.

  
You made a call to the FBI too to explain to them how you were connected to the body being found in Philadelphia and as per your warning, Agent Barton assured you that this information wouldn’t be given to the police over there. He was appreciative of it nonetheless and expressed his condolences to you which you were thankful for.

  
The rest of the day was spent packing most of yours and Lily’s clothes into a suitcase Bucky allowed you to take. Better get a head start on it so you weren’t running around last-minute trying to find stuff around the apartment. Then again, Bucky wasn’t a messy person and you weren’t either, making sure each other’s laundry was done separately to avoid confusion and things were put away when they weren’t being used. Plus, you had the day to clean the apartment for him too, even if he didn’t want you to half the time, but you knew Bucky was grateful for it.

  
Bucky came home early to find you fast asleep on the sofa holding Lily close to your chest. His lips formed a wide at the sight and closed the door as quietly as he could behind him, moving into the kitchen to set his things on the table. Not wanting to wake you by turning on the television, he made a start on dinner and after sat at the table, getting his work laptop out to finish off some reports he didn’t manage to get done during the day.

  
A sweet scent filled your nostrils as you stirred from your slumber on the sofa, Lily still asleep where you had watched her earlier, realising you must’ve fallen asleep no long after. Giving her a quick kiss on her forehead, you finally noticed Bucky sitting at the table with his laptop in front of him. You got up off the sofa, gaining his attention where he sent a soft smile your way.

  
“Hey, Y/N.” He greeted quietly.

  
“Hey.” You whispered, moving towards to bassinet to put Lily in, feeling Bucky’s eyes on you.

  
“How you feelin’?” He asked once you had finished, quietly getting up from his chair to go over to you.

  
“Okay, I guess.” You sighed heavily and Bucky pulled you in for a warm hug.

  
“Listen, I’ve been thinkin’.” Bucky said.

  
“God help me.” You teased in reply causing the edge of his lips to turn upwards.

  
“Oh, haha.” He deadpanned, playfully earning a smile from you. “Anyway, I was gonna say I’m takin’ tomorrow off and I thought, maybe, we could spend a day in the city? With Lily of course. That’s if you want to that is.” Bucky stopped himself before he went into rambling mode.

  
“Yeah.” You agreed. “It might do me some good. Get my mind off things.”

  
Bucky looked pleased. “Thought as much.”

  
“Can we go to Central Park again?”

  
“Wherever you wanna go sweetheart.” Bucky answered softly.

  
Tomorrow was the main subject by the time you and Bucky sat down for dinner, planning the day out with all the places you both wanted to go. You got a feeling that Bucky had been to some of these places before, but he was more than willing to go to them with you. He spoke with as much enthusiasm as you did, trying to keep the noise down as much as possible to avoid waking Lily.


End file.
